That awkward parenting moment…
Okay, so earlier today my 10-year-old Emma hits me with, “Mom, how do I find my soulmate?” right as I’m trying not to burn her grilled cheese. Totally caught me off guard. Felt weird talking about soulmates for a kid, so I shifted it to making those really deep, important friends kids need. Honestly felt nervous – didn’t wanna mess this up or seem clueless.
My Plan for Kid Friendship
Decided to ditch the fluffy advice. Grabbed a sticky note and scribbled down 5 things I figured could actually help her build strong bonds. Felt like common sense but writing it down made it real:
- Be a listening champ (Not just nodding along!)
- Show the real you (Scary, but gotta try!)
- Notice the little stuff (Like remembering their cat’s name)
- Share the small things too (Don’t hoard the fun!)
- Give it time, no rush (Forced friendships suck)
Putting it into action
Didn’t wanna lecture Emma. So we roleplayed during her playdate with Maya. Watched them like a hawk – okay, maybe I hovered a bit. Saw Maya showing Emma a new bracelet. My cue! Whispered to Emma, “Maybe ask where she got it?” Emma did, and Maya got all excited talking about the shop. Felt good seeing that tiny connection spark.
Later, playing board games, Emma got super competitive (that’s my girl). Saw Maya looking bummed after losing. Poked Emma gently, “Hey, maybe tell her she played really well?” Emma grumbled a bit, but mumbled it. Maya perked up right away. Small win.
Biggest thing? Watching them build a truly awful sandcastle later. Wasn’t about winning; they were giggling, sharing shovels, totally in their own world. Didn’t interfere at all. Just let them be kids together. Saw Emma relax, saw Maya laugh freely. That messy pile of sand? That was the bond.
What clicked for me
Sticking to my list helped big time. The listening part is HUGE – way harder for kids (and us!) than it sounds. The sharing isn’t just toys; it’s sharing moments, laughs, even that slight nervousness. Noticing details makes people feel seen. And Emma trying to be a better listener? Gotta admit, that felt like a parenting win.
The realness part was key too. Emma saw Maya flub a game rule and admitted she messed up yesterday too. That little “me too” moment? Pure gold for friendship glue.
And man, giving it time? So true. This wasn’t one playdate magic. It’s messy lunches, boring days, figuring it out slowly.
Wrapping this mess up
So yeah, that soulmate question? Turned into practical stuff. Forget the soulmate hype for kids. It’s about building those strong, real friendships brick by brick. Encouraged Emma to keep practicing the listening thing, to let her goofy side show sometimes, to share small kindnesses like offering Maya the last cookie at snack time yesterday. Watching them now, still building terrible sandcastles? Makes me think we’re on the right track. Deep friendships just take work, patience, and letting kids be messy together. That’s really it.
