Okay, so here’s how I figured out sending a “bye-bye” letter timing thing to a buddy of mine. Felt messy, but landed okay.
The Why & The Overthink
Friend was moving countries. Real far, like 12-hour time difference far. We used to grab coffee every week. Felt like an ending. Wanted to say things right, not just a quick “take care” text when he boarded the plane. Started drafting this stupid letter – memories, inside jokes, thanks. Easy part. Then… crap, when do I actually send it? Panic set in.
The Timing Freak-Out
Overthought everything:
- Thought about sending it way before he left – maybe during his packing chaos. But nah, too much noise. Letter gets buried under moving boxes.
- Day of departure? He’d be stressed about flights, saying bye to family. Bad vibe. Letter feels like an extra weight.
- After he landed? Jet-lagged zombie won’t appreciate my heartfelt junk.
- Sent it too late? Feels random, like I forgot him already. Awkward.
Just Asking Him
This part felt dumb obvious AFTER. Texted him casual-like: “Yo, got a sappy note for you. When you gonna actually have brain space to read it without hurling?” He texted back: “Haha loser. Send it Friday night. My goodbye party’s Saturday. I’ll be drunk & sentimental then. Perfect.” Mind blown. Simple answer I wasted hours stressing about.
How It Went Down
Friday night. Sent the damn letter. Felt weird, like dumping feelings into an inbox. Braced for crickets. Party night, right? Next afternoon… boom. Eight voice messages. Full of drunk laughter, saying my letter made him spill his beer. Some emotional mush mixed in. Called me crying-laughing Sunday morning saying it was the best thing he read that week. Perfect timing? For him, yeah. Not a “good” time. His time.
What I Learned (The Advice Part)
- Stop guessing the “right” universal time. There isn’t one.
- Ask the damn person. They know their life better than you.
- “Good” timing for heavy stuff isn’t quiet or perfect. It’s when they feel ready to handle it. Maybe at a party. Maybe after midnight. Who cares?
- My job was to write honestly. Their job was to pick when to open that box.
- If asking feels too weird? Think about when they’re usually in a decent headspace. Not during big stress, not right after chaos. Find their “breather” moment.
Worked this time. Next time? Probably ask again. Less stress.
