Okay, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about relationships lately, specifically about that tricky question: when is enough, enough? Like, when do you know it’s time to call it quits? I’ve been through a couple of rough patches myself, and I started journaling about it, trying to figure things out. Here’s how I went about it:
Starting with Raw Feelings
First, I just started writing down everything I was feeling. No filter, no judging, just pure, messy emotions. I used a simple notebook, nothing fancy. I wrote about the good times, the bad times, the fights, the make-ups… everything. It was like vomiting onto the page, but it felt good to get it out.
Identifying Patterns
After a few weeks of this, I went back and read through my entries. I started highlighting recurring themes. Were there constant arguments about the same things? Was I always feeling unheard or unappreciated? Was he? I looked for patterns, things that kept popping up over and over again.
- Constant criticism.
- Lack of respect.
- Feeling lonely even when we were together.
- Zero effort for my working.
Listing My Non-Negotiables
Then, I made a list of my “non-negotiables.” These are things I absolutely need in a relationship to be happy. For me, things like respect, trust, and open communication are non-negotiable. I wrote them down clearly and * the one can’t do that for me,I have to go.
Comparing Reality to My Needs
Next, I compared my journal entries and the identified patterns to my list of non-negotiables. I asked myself tough questions: “Am I consistently getting what I need from this relationship?” “Are my non-negotiables being met?” This was a hard part, being brutally honest with myself.
Seeking External Input (Carefully)
I also talked to a couple of trusted friends. I emphasized that I wanted honest feedback, not just someone to tell me what I wanted to hear. I only shared with people I knew would be supportive but also objective.
Making a Decision (and Sticking to It)
Finally, after all this soul-searching and analyzing, I made a decision. It wasn’t easy, and it definitely wasn’t overnight. But I realized that the relationship I was in wasn’t meeting my needs, and the patterns I saw weren’t likely to change. So, I ended it. It hurt like hell, but I knew it was the right thing for *’s been a little over a month now. I still have time alone, so I started working on it.
This whole process was messy and emotional, but it helped me gain clarity. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution, but I hope sharing my experience might help someone else navigate this tough question.
The most important thing I learned is to listen to your gut and be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve.
