Well, honey, let me tell you, I been married to my old man for near fifty years. We seen our share of ups and downs, that’s for sure. So, you askin’ when is enough enough in a relationship? That’s a question, ain’t it?
Sometimes, it ain’t easy to know. Love, it’s a funny thing. Makes you put up with a whole heap of stuff you wouldn’t normally. But there comes a time when you gotta say, “Hold on a minute!”
When You Just Ain’t Happy No More
First off, if you’re constantly emotionally drained, like a wrung-out dishrag, that ain’t good. A relationship, it’s supposed to lift you up, not drag you down. If you’re cryin’ more than you’re laughin’, somethin’s wrong, I tell ya.
You should feel good in a relationship, you know? Like you can be yourself. If you’re always feelin’ small, like a little mouse in the corner, that ain’t right. You feel small in your own relationship, and that is not okay. Your partner should make you feel like a prize-winning pumpkin, not a dried-up pea.
No Respect, No Good
And your partner does not respect you? Oh, honey. Respect, that’s important. If your fella (or gal) ain’t treatin’ you with respect, callin’ you names, puttin’ you down, that’s a big red flag. You deserve better than that. My old man, he might grumble, but he always treats me like a queen. Most of the time, anyway.
- If he ain’t listenin’ to you.
- If he ain’t helpin’ around the house.
- If he’s always puttin’ his needs before yours.
Those are some signs right there. A good relationship, it’s a partnership. You gotta work together, like two oxen pullin’ a plow. If one’s doin’ all the work, the other’s just layin’ down, ain’t nothin’ gonna get done.
Walkin’ on Eggshells
Now, if you’re constantly walking on eggshells, scared to say the wrong thing, that’s no way to live. You should be able to speak your mind, even if it’s just to say you don’t like his mama’s apple pie. A little honesty, that’s important too.
A relationship should feel safe, like a warm quilt on a cold night. If you’re always afraid of what he might say or do, that ain’t a safe place to be.
When the Bad Outweighs the Good
If your bad days substantially out number your good, well, that’s like a garden full of weeds. A few weeds here and there, that’s normal. But when they take over the whole dang thing, ain’t nothin’ gonna grow. It takes a toll on you and you start no longer take part in things and people you once enjoyed.
You gotta ask yourself, is this relationship worth it? Is it worth all the heartache and the tears? Sometimes, the answer is no. And that’s okay. It’s okay to say, “I deserve better.”
Listen to Your Gut
Enough is enough in a relationship when it is costing you your own self worth. This is big. Your self worth is like your best Sunday dress. You gotta protect it.
Your gut feelin’, that’s important. It’s like your own personal weathervane, tellin’ you which way the wind’s blowin’. If your gut’s tellin’ you somethin’ ain’t right, you better listen.
It’s important to consider these things:
- Your overall expectations of the relationship. What did you think it would be like?
- Your emotional tolerances. How much can you really handle?
- Your sexual preferences. Are you happy in that department?
- Your approach to finances. Money can cause a lot of problems.
- Your past. Sometimes, old baggage can weigh you down.
- Your family. Their opinions might matter to you.
- Your friendships. Good friends can give good advice.
- Your goals. What do you want out of life?
- Your wishes should the relationship end. It is good to think about this.
- Your time. Time is precious, don’t waste it.
Don’t be afraid to walk away if you need to. It ain’t easy, I know. But sometimes, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. You gotta love yourself first, honey. That’s the most important thing.
So, when is enough enough? Only you can answer that. But I hope what I said helps you figure it out. You deserve to be happy, you know? You deserve a good man, a good life, and a good garden. Don’t settle for nothin’ less.
