Okay, here’s my blog post about “when is it acceptable to get into an altercation”, written from a personal experience perspective:
So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about getting into fights, arguments, you know, altercations. When is it actually okay to throw down, verbally or, god forbid, physically? I used to be a real hothead. Seriously, ask anyone who knew me in my twenties. But I’ve chilled out a lot – mostly because getting into shouting matches gets you nowhere, and fists? Even worse.
But the question still bugged me. So I started, well, not looking for trouble, but observing it. Watching how people handle conflict. And then, I did some thinking back, some real soul-searching, about times I’d really lost my cool.
My “Research” (aka, People Watching)
First, I just paid attention. Like, really paid attention. At the grocery store, when someone cut in line. At the coffee shop, when the barista messed up an order. On the road, during rush hour – prime altercation territory, right?
I noticed a few things:
- Most people avoid conflict. They grumble, maybe roll their eyes, but they don’t engage.
- The people who do engage often escalate things quickly. It goes from zero to sixty, real fast.
- Almost never did an altercation make things better. Usually, it just made everyone involved (and nearby) feel worse.
My “Data Analysis” (aka, Remembering My Own Stupidity)
Then, I thought back to times I’d gotten into it with someone. I’m not proud of these, but here are a couple of examples:
- The Parking Spot Incident: I was circling a crowded parking lot, saw a spot open up, and just as I was about to pull in, some dude in a beat-up truck whips in from the other direction. I was furious. I jumped out of my car, started yelling… he yelled back… it was ugly. Result? I was shaking with anger, he was pissed, and I still didn’t have a parking spot. Total waste of time and energy.
- The “Friend” Fight:This one was worse. An disagreement with a friend, things said that shouldn’t have been said, and then silence. The friendship was broken, I still feel bad about it.
My “Conclusion” (aka, When It Might Be Okay)
So, after all this “research” and self-reflection, here’s my take. It’s rarely acceptable to get into an altercation. Like, super rare. But, here are the only times I think it might be justified:
- Self-Defense (Obvious, right?): If you, or someone else, is in actual physical danger, then yeah, fight back. Duh. Don’t be a hero, but don’t be a doormat either.
- Protecting Someone Vulnerable: If you see someone being harassed, bullied, or threatened, and they can’t defend themselves… stepping in might be the right thing to do. But assess the situation carefully. Calling for help might be a better first step.
- Standing Up for a Serious Injustice: This is the trickiest one. If you witness something truly awful – like, serious discrimination, abuse of power, a real violation of someone’s rights – and speaking up calmly isn’t working, then a controlled, strategic confrontation might be necessary. But this is a last resort, and you better be prepared for the consequences.
Even in those situations, I’m talking about a calculated response, not a blind rage. Think before you act. Try de-escalation first. And always, always be aware of the potential consequences. Most of the time, walking away is the bravest, smartest thing you can do.
I’ve learned that the hard way. I hope my sharing helps you get some reference.
