Well, let me tell ya, this couples assessment thing, it’s like airing out your dirty laundry in front of the whole darn village. But sometimes, you gotta do it to see what’s really going on, you know? Like when your old man starts snorin’ louder than a tractor, somethin’s gotta give.
So, this thing, it’s supposed to help you figure out what’s wrong with you and your other half. Couples assessment, they call it. Sounds fancy, don’t it? But it’s just a bunch of questions, really. Like, do ya still hold hands? Do ya fight over who gets the last piece of pie? That kinda stuff.
They say it starts with an interview. Like you’re on one of them talk shows, but without the fancy lights and the free coffee. You and your partner, you sit there and spill your guts. He says this, you say that. And some fella, a therapist they call ’em, just sits there, noddin’ his head, takin’ notes. He wants to know all about ya, your history and all that. And the couples assessment online thing, they can get the answers from their computer.
- How you met, probably.
- How many kids you got.
- Who snores louder.
It’s all about findin’ out where you’re happy and where you’re, well, not so happy. Like, do you talk nice to each other? Or do you just grunt and point like a couple of old mules? This couples assessment test is supposed to help with that, see?
Then there’s this other thing, this Partner Strengths… somethin’ or other. PSQ, they call it. Some doctor fella made it up, think his name was Todd. Sounds like a fella who wouldn’t know a hard day’s work if it bit him on the backside. But hey, maybe he knows somethin’ about love and all that mushy stuff. Then this Gottman assessment, seems popular.
This PSQ thing, it’s supposed to tell you what’s good about your relationship. Like, maybe he’s good at killin’ spiders, and you’re good at makin’ biscuits. That’s a strength, right there. Teamwork! ‘Course, it might also tell ya that he’s a stubborn old goat, and you nag more than a blue jay. But that’s okay, too. Gotta know your weaknesses to work on ’em, I reckon.
And get this, there’s even a way to do this whole relationship assessment thing online now. No need to even leave the house! Just sit there in your pajamas, clickin’ away on the computer. They say it’s got 480 questions! 480! That’s more questions than I got grandkids, and I got a whole passel of ’em.
These questions, they’re about everything under the sun. How well you know each other. Do you know his favorite color? Does he know what you like on your pizza? Stuff like that. They say it’s about friendship and intimacy, which is just a fancy word for, well, you know… being close. Like how well the couples assessment tools work. They try to figure these out.
They say this online thing can tell you your strengths and your… challenges. That’s what they call ’em now, challenges. Back in my day, we just called ’em problems. But I guess “challenges” sounds nicer. Makes it sound like you’re climbin’ a mountain instead of just tryin’ to keep your old man from drivin’ you crazy with his snorin’.
Then there’s another one of these assessment things, this one made by another doctor fella, name of Gottman. Sounds like a fella who might actually know a thing or two. They say he’s been studyin’ couples for 50 years! 50 years! That’s longer than I been married to my old coot, and that’s sayin’ somethin’.
This Gottman fella, his couples assessment is supposed to be real scientific and all that. Data-driven, they say. Whatever that means. Sounds like somethin’ you’d need a fancy degree to understand. But I guess it just means he’s got a lot of numbers and charts and all that to back up what he says.
So, this Gottman assessment, it looks at five things, five key areas, they call ’em. Like the five fingers on your hand, I suppose. Each one important in its own way. And it’s supposed to tell you where you’re strong and where you’re weak. Like, maybe you’re good at talkin’, but not so good at listenin’. Or maybe he’s good at fixin’ things, but not so good at sayin’ “I love you.” That kinda thing.
And then, after you do all this, after you answer all these questions and spill all your secrets, they give you some kinda plan. A tailored plan, they call it. Tailored, like a new dress. Supposed to fit you just right. And online couples assessment can do this, too. This plan, it’s supposed to help you work on your… challenges. To make your relationship stronger, like a good, sturdy fence. Keeps the cows in and the coyotes out, you know?
Now, I ain’t sayin’ this couples assessment thing is for everyone. Some folks, they’re happy as clams just muddlin’ along. And that’s fine, too. But if you’re feelin’ like your relationship is more like a leaky bucket than a well-oiled machine, then maybe this is somethin’ to think about. It might just be what you need to patch things up and get back on track.
Just remember, it ain’t gonna be easy. It’s like weedin’ the garden. Takes time and effort, and you’re gonna get your hands dirty. But in the end, if you do it right, you’ll have somethin’ beautiful to show for it. Somethin’ that’ll last. Just like a good marriage, I reckon. Don’t let the relationship assessment scare you, just do it.
