Alright let’s roll right into this thing. Today felt different, ya know? Like I was actually doing this whole “loving hard” thing instead of just nodding along to cheesy quotes. Started thinking: what does it really take? Not the fluffy stuff, but the real, gritty effort. Here’s how it went down for me:
The Spark & The Idea
Woke up feeling like crap, honestly. Partner had a rough night, snappy. My first gut instinct? Snap right back, defend my territory. Old habits die hard. Then I remembered this phrase I’d been chewing on: “Love Hard.” What does that even mean when you wanna punch a pillow? Decided today was practice.
Made coffee. Quietly. Bit my tongue instead of firing back. That was step one, I guess. Choosing to not engage the fight. Small win.
Putting Myself Out There (Way Uncomfortably)
Partner left for work still grumpy. I sat there staring at my laptop. Loving hard ain’t passive. Picked up my phone. Texted: “Hey. Rough morning. Hope your day gets better. Thinking of you.” Sent it before I could overthink how corny it sounded. Vulnerability feels like walking naked in public. Did it anyway. That was key thing #1: Showing Up When It’s Awkward.
Doing the Actual Work (The Unfun Stuff)
Partner called later, still stressed. Listened. Like, really listened. Didn’t jump in with solutions. Didn’t talk about my crappy morning. Just listened. Then… went into action mode. They mentioned a specific thing stressing them. Key thing #2: Paying Attention to the Specifics. What mattered to them. Skipped my own errands. Did that thing for them instead. No fanfare. Just handled it. Actions speak way louder than “I love yous” sometimes.
Bashing My Own Ego Down
Picked them up later. They were quiet. Old me? Panicked. “What did I do wrong?” Defensive thoughts started bubbling. Loving hard meant silencing that noise. Key thing #3: Putting Their Needs First, Even When It Feels Personal. Didn’t demand cheerfulness. Said, “Seems like a lot today. Want quiet? Or vent? Or distract? Your call.” Gave them space to be, without my need for reassurance.
Accepting the Bumps (& Not Fixing Everything)
Guess what? They were still tired and kinda grumpy all evening! Loving hard doesn’t magically fix bad days. My job wasn’t to be the sunshine fairy. Key thing #4: Letting Them Feel What They Feel Without Trying to “Fix” It. Stayed present. Offered a shoulder rub without expecting a mood shift. Let the crappiness exist alongside us.
Sticking It Out When the Shiny Wears Off
Finally crashed into bed. Honestly? Part of me felt annoyed my efforts didn’t “fix” the bad mood. Like, “Come on, I did the loving hard thing, where’s my prize?” Loving hard ain’t transactional. Key thing #5: Commitment Over Convenience (No Scorecards!). Recognizing that annoyance? Gotta let that go too. Chose to just hold their hand. Silence, again. But this time, it felt… connected. Not fixed, but grounded.
So, today’s practice showed me what loving hard actually costs: your ego, your comfort zone, your need for everything to be easy. You gotta:
- Show up when it’s awkward and risky.
- Pay attention to the tiny, specific things that matter to them.
- Put their needs right up front, even when your own feelings get bruised.
- Let them have bad feelings without jumping in like Captain Fix-It.
- Commit to doing it anyway, long after the initial warm fuzzies fade.
It’s messy. It ain’t always rewarding in the moment. Feels more like rolling up your sleeves and wading into the mud than floating on a cloud. But damn. That quiet holding hands at the end? That felt like the real deal. Gonna be sore tomorrow, emotionally speaking. But yeah. Practicing this. For real.
