So, I was just kind of drifting, you know? My connections with people felt a bit like those free Wi-Fi spots – there, but not really strong or reliable. I’d see folks with these super tight bonds, family, friends, whatever, and mine felt… well, they felt like I wasn’t really putting much in. It hit me one day, pretty hard actually. If I wanted better, I had to do better. Couldn’t just expect good stuff to fall in my lap.
I decided, right, I’m gonna actually try this “investing in relationships” thing. Sounds a bit like a business plan, I know, but I needed a way to think about it. It wasn’t about being fake or anything, but about being intentional. Before, I was just passive. Now, I figured I’d be active.
Figuring Out How to Actually “Invest”
First off, I had to stop and think, what does “investing” even mean here? It’s not like buying stocks. For me, it boiled down to a few things I started doing, or at least trying to do, consistently.
- Making Time, Like, Real Time: This was a big one. Not just “Oh yeah, we should catch up sometime,” but actually putting stuff on the calendar. Saying no to other things sometimes. It felt weird at first, like I was scheduling friendships. But if I didn’t schedule it, it often just didn’t happen. Life’s busy, right?
- Actually Listening, Not Just Hearing: Man, this is a skill. I used to be terrible at it. Someone would be talking, and my mind would be off planning my grocery list or thinking what I was gonna say next. I really tried to shut that down. Look people in the eye. Ask follow-up questions. It’s amazing what you learn when you actually pay attention. Still not perfect at it, but trying.
- Remembering the Little Things: This one surprised me. I started making an effort to remember small details people mentioned. Their kid’s name, a hobby they liked, a problem they were having at work. It wasn’t about being a memory whiz; sometimes I’d jot a quick note on my phone after a conversation. Then, next time, I’d bring it up. “Hey, how did that thing with your boss go?” People really noticed. They felt heard.
- Reaching Out First: I used to be the guy who waited for others to initiate. My thinking was, “If they want to talk to me, they will.” Pretty dumb, looking back. So, I started being the one to send that first text, make that call, suggest getting together. Yeah, it felt a bit vulnerable. What if they didn’t reply? What if they were busy? But more often than not, people were happy to hear from me.
- Being There, Especially When It Sucked: This is probably the toughest one. Showing up when things are fun is easy. But being there when a friend is going through a rough patch, or a family member needs help, even if it’s inconvenient? That’s where the real investment pays off, I think. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s what matters.
The Ups and Downs – It Wasn’t All Smooth Sailing
So, did it work? Was I suddenly Mr. Popular with a perfect social life? Not exactly. It was a mixed bag, to be honest. Some relationships definitely got stronger. I felt closer to some friends and family than I had in years. Those connections started to feel really solid, really genuine. That was awesome.
But then there were the other times. Sometimes I’d put in all this effort, and it felt like I was talking to a brick wall. Or the effort just wasn’t matched. That stung. Made me wonder if I was wasting my time on certain people. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize a relationship you’re investing in is pretty much a one-way street. I had to learn to pull back from those, which wasn’t easy either.
And let me tell you, it can be tiring. Being present, remembering details, making time – it takes energy. There were days I just didn’t have it in me. And I had to learn that that was okay too. Can’t pour from an empty cup, as they say.
What I Reckon Now
Looking back at this whole process, this active decision to invest, I wouldn’t say I’ve got it all figured out. Not by a long shot. But I did learn that relationships are a lot like gardens. You can’t just plant a seed and expect it to grow into a giant oak tree without any water or sunshine. You gotta tend to them. It’s ongoing work.
The biggest thing for me was realizing it’s about quality, not quantity. Having a few people you can truly count on, and who can count on you, that’s worth more than a hundred acquaintances. And those real connections? They don’t just happen. You gotta build them, bit by bit. Sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes it’s tough, but when it clicks, it’s one of the best feelings there is. So yeah, I’m still investing. Just a bit smarter about where I put my energy now.
