So yesterday I decided to dig into this question about “true love” in Sex and the City. Honestly? Always thought it was just shoes and puns. Grabbed my laptop, a mountain of leftover takeout, and fired up HBO Max. Buckled in for a rewatch marathon, scribbling notes like my life depended on it.

The Starting Point: What Are They Even Saying?
First thing I did was watch key Carrie and Big moments again. That entire breakup scene in the street – “Abso-fcking-lutely not” – hit different this time. Noticed how often Carrie says she wants commitment but actually freaks out when Big offers it. Classic mixed signals. Felt familiar, right? We’ve all been there.
Then I jumped to Miranda and Steve’s saga. Skipped right to the “I peed in your sink” bathroom scene. Gross? Yes. Real? Hell yeah. Felt way more raw than Carrie’s champagne problems.
Spotting Patterns in the Chaos
Started connecting dots across seasons. Made three lists:
- Carrie’s Messy Idea: Obsessed with Big, forgives everything, calls it “passion.” Rewatched that Russian guy saga – dude literally walked out of her book party! But nah, not Big, so suddenly it’s “toxic.” Hypocrisy much?
- Charlotte’s Fairy Tale Flip: Remember her Harry hatred? Glasses, back hair – she gagged! But then: dude accepted her conversion, wanted kids with her, fought for her. Boom. Her definition shifted from Prince Charming to “guy who shows up”.
- Samantha’s Own Rules: Her love wasn’t about “the one.” It was about respect. When Smith stayed while she fought cancer? Didn’t smother her. Let her be her. That kitchen scene with the wig toss? More honest than most weddings.
Realized something huge: none of these relationships started perfect. Hell, Miranda yelled at Steve for eating her mangos! But true moments came later: Steve staying after her mom died, or Big flying to Paris not to “win” Carrie but because she sounded lost.
My Big Takeaway
True love in SATC isn’t fireworks or grand gestures every episode. It’s buried in the crap:

- Carrie finally admitting she sabotages things
- Miranda letting Brady climb into bed with Steve and her new guy
- Charlotte learning to ask for what she actually needs
Ended my notes with: “Maybe true love = choosing to figure it out when you don’t feel like it.” Felt way less glamorous than Carrie’s Manolos but damn if it doesn’t ring truer. Wanna get coffee? No, seriously, I need brain fuel after this.
PS: Still side-eyeing Big though. Guy’s emotionally constipated.