Alright, so this topic came up, “sweet things to tell ur gf.” And you know, it’s funny, ’cause for the longest time, I was probably the last guy who’d know. Not because I didn’t feel things, but because actually saying them? Whole different ball game. It’s not like they give you a script when you start dating someone. If they did, I definitely lost my copy.
My big issue, looking back, was that I’d have all these decent thoughts. Like, “Hey, she’s really amazing for handling that,” or “That little laugh she does is pretty great.” But all that good stuff just stayed locked up in my skull. Did zero good for anyone, least of all her. Pretty dense of me, I guess.
Figuring It Out the Hard Way
So, I had to sort of… stumble my way into it. No grand plan, no self-help books, none of that. I just started to consciously pay attention. Sounds basic, I know. But it’s wild how much you miss when you’re just going through the motions, even with someone you care about a lot.
Then came the part I really wasn’t looking forward to: actually saying the words. Out loud. To another human being. Man, the first few times, I felt like a total fraud. My brain was screaming, “This sounds so cheesy! You’re not this guy!” It was properly awkward. I’m no smooth talker, never claimed to be. So trying to be “sweet” on purpose felt like wearing clothes that were way too small.
But here’s what I slowly clued into: it wasn’t about being some kind of poet or a character from a movie. She wasn’t expecting sonnets. She just wanted to hear the real stuff. The simple, honest thoughts that I was apparently hoarding.
So, what did this “practice” actually look like? Well, I started trying to voice things I genuinely noticed and appreciated. It wasn’t a checklist, more like grabbing opportunities.
- Like, if she did that specific thing she does when she’s concentrating hard on something, I’d just say, “I love watching you when you’re super focused like that.”
- Or if she handled a stressful day with way more grace than I would have, I’d make sure to tell her, “You were incredible today, seriously.”
- Sometimes, it was just looking at her and a good feeling would wash over me, and I’d try to catch that and say something like, “You know, you just make things better.”
The main thing was, it had to be true. If I forced it, it would’ve sounded like junk, and she’d have known. Nobody wants fake niceness. That’s worse than silence, any day.
The Payoff, I Guess
And what happened? Well, it wasn’t like fireworks went off every time. Sometimes it was a big smile, sometimes a hug, sometimes just a quiet “thanks.” But it definitely changed the air between us. Made things feel a bit warmer, a bit more… solid. It’s like, all those unsaid things? They were like invisible bricks. Saying them started building something visible instead.
Honestly, it wasn’t just for her. Saying those things out loud kind of reinforced them for me too. Made me appreciate her more, consciously. So, yeah, that was my journey from being a thought-hoarder to someone who occasionally manages to say something decent. Took a while, and a bit of cringing at myself, but definitely worth the effort. It’s not about grand gestures all the time. Sometimes, just letting them know you see the good stuff is all it takes.
