So, I was trying to get some good conversation starters lined up for a small gathering I was planning. You know how sometimes things can get a bit quiet or stuck on small talk? I wanted something a bit deeper, something that would get people really talking and sharing perspectives. Relationships seemed like a goldmine for that kind of thing – everyone’s got opinions, right?

I sat down first, just brainstorming off the top of my head. Things like ‘is long distance hard?’ or ‘should couples share finances?’ came up pretty quick. But they felt a bit… flat. Not quite punchy enough for a proper back-and-forth.
Getting Down to It
I realized I needed topics with a bit more tension, where there isn’t really a single ‘right’ answer. Stuff that really makes you think about different sides. So, I started digging around a bit, thinking about common arguments or dilemmas people face. I wasn’t looking for academic stuff, just real-life friction points.
I spent maybe an hour or so just jotting down ideas as they came. I thought about things I’d heard friends argue about, or dilemmas I’d seen pop up in advice columns (without getting sucked into reading them all day, haha). I tried to phrase them as clear debate points, like a ‘this vs. that’ kind of structure where possible.
Then I looked at my big messy list. Some were duds. Too vague, too niche, or just likely to cause real arguments instead of interesting debate. I crossed those out. Focusing is key here, I told myself. Need topics that are engaging but not likely to end friendships!
After filtering and refining, I landed on a set that felt pretty solid. They seemed like they had enough meat on them for people to actually discuss different angles.

The Final List
Here’s what I ended up with for potential discussion points:
- Is complete honesty always the best policy in a relationship, even if it causes pain?
- Should couples maintain separate friend groups, or should social lives be fully merged?
- Is it okay to keep secrets from your partner (like financial troubles or past mistakes)? Where’s the line?
- Can men and women truly be just friends without any romantic feelings involved?
- Should you change aspects of yourself for your partner, or should they accept you exactly as you are?
- Is living together before marriage a good predictor of marital success?
- Who should have the final say in big decisions (like moving, finances, kids)? Or must it always be 100% consensus?
- Is social media presence (what you post, who you follow) a legitimate thing to argue about in a relationship?
- Does absence really make the heart grow fonder, or does it just create distance (long-distance relationships)?
- Should parents have a say in their adult children’s choice of partner?
I felt pretty good about this list. It covers a range of common relationship dynamics and ethical questions. The idea isn’t to ‘win’ the debate, obviously, but just to get people thinking and sharing why they feel the way they do. Should make for a much more interesting evening than just talking about the weather!