Alright so here’s what went down with me. Started noticing something weird months back—every time my partner and I got intimate, I’d end up sprinting to the bathroom afterward to puke. Like clockwork. Felt like my body was betraying me, you know? Wasn’t just nausea either; full-on vomiting. Freaked me out big time at first.
What I Tried & What Blew Up
Tried changing up when we did stuff. Thought maybe if we weren’t doing it right after dinner, things would chill. Nope. Still hurled. Then I switched positions—gentler ones, slower pace. Felt like I was tiptoeing around landmines. Sometimes it helped a tiny bit, but half the time? Puke city.
Cut out alcohol completely too. Figured maybe that cocktail I had last Tuesday was the culprit. But even stone-cold sober? No dice. Felt like I was playing detective with zero clues.
The Big Lightbulb Moment
Went to my doc after three weeks of this nonsense. Laid it all out: the timing, the puking, everything. She leaned back and asked, “You ever get light-headed when you stand up too fast?” Turns out, my body’s wired to overreact. Like, intimacy would spike my heart rate, then—bam—my nervous system would just nope out. That dizzy-drop-feeling? Textbook vasovagal response. Not dangerous, just messy.
Doc also dug into my stress levels. Turns out work had been kicking my ass, and I’d been clenching my jaw 24/7. Who knew anxiety could park itself in your gut? Mind and gut are glued together, apparently.
What Actually Worked (Finally)
- Hydrate like a camel—but no chugging right before. Tiny sips hours earlier.
- Cool down literally: Ice pack on the back of my neck after slowed the system freak-out.
- Breathe, dumbass: Started doing box breathing (4 secs in, hold 4, out 4) during, not just after. Game changer.
- No spicy tacos 3 hours before. Common sense? Maybe. But I’m stubborn.
Took weeks to piece this together. Biggest fix? Talking to my partner straight-up. We slowed everything down. More cuddles, zero pressure. If my heart started racing? Full stop. No guilt. Felt awkward at first, but now? We laugh about it. Well, mostly.
Still happens sometimes if I’m stressed or dehydrated. But now I know it’s just my dumb wiring. Carry gum, sip water, don’t panic. Bodies are weird, man.
