Okay, so, about those “emotional bids” – it’s like, when someone wants your attention, right? I was thinking about this the other day, and I decided to keep track of how I deal with these things in my own life. It’s not rocket science, just everyday stuff, but it’s kinda interesting when you start paying attention.
First off, I just started noticing. Like, when my buddy texts me about his new guitar, or my sister calls to complain about her boss, that’s them trying to connect. At first, I didn’t even realize that’s what was going on. I was just answering texts or listening on the phone, you know?
My Little Experiment
So, I got this notebook and started writing down these moments. Nothing fancy, just:
- Who’s reaching out?
- What do they want to talk about?
- How do I react?
I did this for a couple of weeks. For example, my friend, she is always talking about her job, so I write it down, and I notice that I’m always just saying, “Oh, that’s crazy,” or I just send some memes. Sometimes I don’t even reply, because I’m too busy watching some shows or playing games.
Then I started trying different things. Instead of just a “lol” or a thumbs-up emoji, I started asking questions. Like, “What kind of guitar did you get?” or “What did your boss do this time?” And wow, people love to talk when you show you’re actually listening. My buddy with the guitar, he sent me like, ten pictures and a whole story about how he picked it out. Then I ask him, “When will you play it for me?” You see, he feels happy, and we are closer.
I even tried this with my partner. Normally, when she starts talking about her day, I kinda zone out. I love her, but work stuff is work stuff, right? But I started really listening and asking follow-up questions. Turns out, she’s got some interesting stuff going on! And she seemed happier that I was paying attention. She will tell me things like “You are so sweet” or “I’m so glad that I can share these things with you”, which makes me feel so warm inside.
It’s not like I became a perfect listener overnight. I still get distracted, and sometimes I just want to chill and not talk. But I’m trying, and it’s making a difference. It’s like, by paying attention to these little bids for connection, I’m building better relationships. And it feels good, you know? It’s like, we’re all just trying to connect in this crazy world, and this is one way to do it.
I’ll keep doing this, I think. It’s a good reminder to be present and to appreciate the people in my life. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help me understand my own emotions a bit better, too. Who knows? But I have a good feeling that I’m doing the right things and I’m on the right path.
