So, we decided to get hitched. Seemed like the next logical step, you know? But then someone, I think it was my partner’s cousin, brought up this whole premarital counseling thing. My first reaction was probably a bit defensive, like, “What? You think we’re doomed already?” But the more we talked about it, the more it didn’t seem like such a wild idea. We figured, hey, what’s the harm in trying to get a bit more prepared, right?
Finding the Right Person
This is where the “often provided by a licensed therapist” bit really came into play. We didn’t want just anyone. We wanted someone who actually knew what they were doing. So, we started looking for a licensed therapist. It wasn’t super easy. We asked around, did some online searching – carefully, mind you – and read a few profiles. We wanted someone who felt like a good fit, not just a random name from a directory. We eventually found someone whose approach seemed to resonate with both of us. We made that initial call, which felt like a big step.
The First Few Steps In
Walking into that first session was… interesting. A bit awkward, I won’t lie. You’re sitting there with your partner and this person you’ve never met, and you’re supposed to talk about your relationship. I remember thinking, “What are we even going to say?” But the therapist was good. They didn’t just stare at us waiting for us to spill our guts. They had a way of guiding the conversation, asking questions that made us think. It wasn’t as scary as I’d built it up in my head. We mostly talked about why we were there, what we hoped to get out of it, and just got a feel for the process.
Digging In: The Actual Work
Once we got past the initial “getting to know you” phase, we started to dig into the real stuff. And let me tell you, it wasn’t always comfortable. We covered a lot of ground:
- Communication: This was a big one. How we talked to each other, especially when we disagreed. We learned a lot about listening, not just waiting for our turn to talk.
- Expectations: What did we really expect from marriage? From each other? Sometimes these things are unsaid and can cause a lot of trouble later.
- Finances: Oh boy, the money talk. How we viewed it, how we’d manage it. Always a fun topic, right? But necessary.
- Family Stuff: In-laws, traditions, how we’d handle holidays. You know, all that extended family jazz.
- Conflict Resolution: We learned it wasn’t about not fighting, but how to fight fair. That was a game-changer.
The therapist gave us “homework” sometimes – things to discuss or exercises to do together. Some of it felt a bit silly at first, but honestly, it often led to some pretty important conversations we might not have had otherwise.
So, Was It Worth It?
Looking back, yeah, I’d say it was definitely worth the time and effort. It wasn’t a magic wand that made all potential problems disappear. We’re still us, we still have our moments. But it felt like we went into marriage with our eyes a bit more open. We got some tools, some frameworks for how to handle things. It forced us to talk about some tough topics in a structured way, with someone there to help us navigate it. It wasn’t about “fixing” something broken, but more like preventative maintenance, you know? Like checking the oil in your car before a long road trip. You just want to make sure everything’s in good shape for the journey ahead. And that’s pretty much what we did.
