Alright so this week I decided to test drive some stuff I’ve been reading about – specifically, what really clicks for guys during sex. You know how it is, you get curious. Wanted to see if focusing more on the experience from his side made a tangible difference. Buckle up, here’s the play-by-play.
The Prep Work (Kinda Awkward, Honestly)
First off, I just straight up observed and asked him. Sounds simple, but usually I’m just going with the flow, right? This time, I paid more attention during the week. Noticed he lingered when I wore this specific old band t-shirt (the comfy one) and basically melted when I played with his hair while we watched TV. Small things, but noted.
Then, the night before the “experiment,” I just asked casually while we were doing dishes: “Hey, anything specific you’ve been really into lately?” Got kinda shy at first, but he mumbled something about how he liked that thing I did last weekend with my hands. Lightbulb moment. Communication is key, duh, but actually doing it felt weirdly vulnerable.
Setting the Mood (But Keeping it Real)
Friday night rolls around. Didn’t do candles or rose petals – that ain’t really us. Instead, I leaned into what I knew. Put on that damn band t-shirt. Made his favorite stupidly spicy noodles for dinner. Put the phone on Do Not Disturb without making a big deal about it. While binging our show, I initiated touch way more – not just waiting for him. Rubbed his shoulders, played with his hair again (hit me, right?), just kept that physical connection humming.
Felt the vibe shifting. He seemed more relaxed, kinda… attentive? Like he sensed the focus was a bit different.
Action Time: Applying My “Research”
When things naturally moved to the bedroom, I ditched my usual script. Remembered the hand thing? Went all in on touch right from the start. More deliberate hands. Took my time exploring his body, paying attention to where he reacted – the back of his neck, his chest, thighs. Noticed his breathing change immediately when I focused there.
Also remembered reading guys often want to feel desired, not just wanted for sex, but actively pursued. So I took the lead more physically – pushed him back playfully, got on top, kissed him deeply. Told him how damn good he felt, specific stuff, not just generic “you’re hot.” Saw that light up his eyes.
Here’s the biggest shift: I normally kinda… wait? For him to guide pace or position? Nope. This time, I owned my enjoyment loudly. Made the sounds, moved how I wanted, told him “right there,” “keep doing that.” Not performative, just genuine. And bam, instant engagement. Seemed like he got more confident, more into it because he knew exactly what was working.
The Payoff & Honest Thoughts
Result? Way more intense, for both of us. He was super present, way more vocal too. Felt connected on a different level. Afterwards, he just hugged me tight for ages and mumbled “That was… wow.” Confirmation received loud and clear.
- What Worked: Paying attention beforehand (the little stuff!), asking the slightly awkward question, focusing on touch he liked from the jump, physically leading/taking initiative, being genuinely vocal about my pleasure so he felt successful.
- What Was Key: It wasn’t about ticking off a list of “sexy moves.” It was about shifting my focus onto understanding and responding to his signals, both verbal and non-verbal, and also actively showing my own enjoyment to boost his confidence.
Bottom line? Feels like less “performing” and more genuine connection makes everything way hotter. Will definitely be keeping this mindset.
