Alright, so you wanna know how to, you know, do it with one of them movie stars, the ones that do the… uh… the jiggy-jiggy on camera? Well, lemme tell ya, it ain’t as easy as just waltzing up and saying “hey there, good lookin’.” Them folks, they got lives too, you know? Not just all about the… the horizontal tango all the time.
First off, you gotta remember they’re real people. Yeah, they might be all dolled up and doin’ all sorts of things on the screen, but they eat, sleep, and poop just like the rest of us. So, don’t go treatin’ ‘em like some kinda… I dunno… a piece of meat at the butcher shop. You gotta be respectful, you hear? Like your mama taught ya, if she ever did.
- Be a decent human being. Don’t just go grabbin’ and groanin’. Talk to ‘em like they’re folks, not toys.
- Find out where they hang out. Now, I ain’t sayin’ go stalkin’ ‘em or nothin’. But, you know, sometimes they go to these… conventions, or they got these… uh… “fan meet-ups” or somethin’. Maybe you can bump into ‘em there. Just don’t be creepy about it.
- Don’t be a star-struck fool. They’re just folks, remember? Don’t go fawin’ all over ‘em like a lovesick calf. Act natural, like you’re talkin’ to your neighbor, but, you know, maybe a little bit… uh… nicer.
Now, if you do happen to meet one of ‘em, don’t just blurt out, “Hey, wanna… you know…?” That ain’t gonna get you nowhere. You gotta be smooth, like butter on a hot biscuit. Try talkin’ to ‘em. Find out what they like, what they don’t like. Maybe they like cats, maybe they like… I don’t know… stamp collectin’. Find somethin’ in common, you know? Make a connection.
And for goodness sake, don’t assume they wanna jump into bed with just anyone. They do that for a livin’, sure, but that don’t mean they ain’t got their own… uh… preferences. Just ‘cause they show it all on camera doesn’t mean they want every Tom, Dick, and Harry pawin’ at ‘em. Think about it, you wouldn’t want just anybody grabbin’ at you, would ya?
So, if you get to talkin’ and things are goin’ well, and maybe, just maybe, they seem a little bit interested, then you can, you know, hint around a little. Don’t be pushy, though. Nobody likes a pushy fella. Just… kinda… test the waters, you know? Like throwin’ a pebble in a pond to see if there’s any ripples. If they don’t seem interested, back off. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.
And listen, even if they are interested, you still gotta be a gentleman. Or a gentlewoman, I guess, dependin’ on who’s doin’ the… uh… courtin’. Be polite, be respectful, and for heaven’s sake, practice good hygiene! Nobody wants to get close to someone who smells like a goat.
Another thing, don’t expect it to be like in the movies. Them movies, they’re all… uh… staged. Real life ain’t like that. It’s messy, it’s awkward, and sometimes it just… ain’t that great. So, keep your expectations real, you hear? Don’t be thinkin’ it’s gonna be some kinda fairy tale.
Finally, if it happens, it happens. If it don’t, it don’t. Don’t go gettin’ all bent outta shape about it. There’s more to life than… you know… that. Go find yourself a hobby, maybe take up bird watchin’ or somethin’. And always, always remember to be respectful and treat people like people, no matter what they do for a livin’.
So that’s the long and short of it. Be nice, be respectful, and don’t be a creep. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll get lucky. But even if you don’t, hey, at least you tried, right? And you didn’t make a fool of yourself in the process. That’s what counts.
Tags: Pornstars, Dating, Relationships, Respect, Etiquette, Intimacy, Connection, Boundaries, Expectations, Real Life.