Alright, buckle up, because this is gonna be a wild ride. You know, for science and stuff.
So, it all started with a drunken bet at a bachelor party. Real classy, I know. The question? “How big are pornstars’ dicks, really?” We all threw out some numbers, laughed, and then someone, probably me fueled by too much cheap beer, said, “I’ll find out.”
First thing I did, after nursing a hangover, was hit up the internet. I mean, where else would you go? Google was my friend. I started with basic searches like “average pornstar penis size.” What I found was… all over the place. Some sites claimed 7 inches was the norm, others said 9, and some were just plain ridiculous. I needed real data, not just clickbait.
Next, I tried to dig deeper. I looked for forums, subreddits, anything where people who might actually know this stuff hung out. I spent hours wading through comments, conspiracy theories, and just plain weirdness. There were a few mentions of databases, but nothing concrete I could get my hands on.
Then, a breakthrough! I stumbled upon a thread where someone mentioned a guy who claimed to be a former adult film editor. He said he had access to all sorts of behind-the-scenes info. I messaged him, figuring it was a long shot. To my surprise, he responded! He was cagey at first, but after some convincing (and maybe a small donation to his crypto wallet), he agreed to share some anonymized data.
The data wasn’t exactly what I expected. It was a spreadsheet with height, weight, and “dick length” (his words, not mine) for a couple hundred male performers. The numbers were… surprising. The average was definitely smaller than some of those websites claimed. It was closer to 5.5 or 6 inches, I think. Remember, this wasn’t official, just data from a dude who claimed to be an editor.
Of course, I had to try to verify this somehow, so I watched countless scenes (for scientific purposes, of course), took notes, and even looked up actors heights on IMDb for comparison. It was kinda creepy, but I was committed to the bit!
Finally, I compiled all my findings. The Google searches, the forum dives, the questionable data from the “editor”, and my own (highly subjective) visual analysis. I came to the conclusion that there’s no single “pornstar dick size.” It’s a range, just like in real life. The average is probably around 5.5-6 inches, but there are definitely outliers on both ends.
So, did I win the bet? Yeah, kinda. I presented my “research” at the bachelor party, everyone laughed, and we moved on to strippers. Was it worth it? Probably not. But hey, now I have a weird story to tell.
Lessons Learned:
- Don’t make drunken bets.
- The internet is a strange and wonderful place.
- Sometimes, the truth is less exciting than the myth.
