Okay so yesterday I got this idea to write thank you messages for my partner. Felt like I’d been saying “thanks babe” on autopilot too much lately, you know? Wanted something deeper.
Why This Hit Me
Right, so I was actually emptying the dishwasher – again – because my partner finally admitted they hate doing it. Been doing it silently for months! That tiny moment made me realize all the little stuff they do piles up.
My First Stab Was Awful
Sat down with coffee thinking it’d be easy. Opened a blank note. Started typing.
“Thank you for everything you do.”
Seriously? Felt like a generic birthday card. Deleted it. Tried again.
“I appreciate you.”
Even weaker. Felt super fake. Cringed hard. Gave up, closed the app.
Switched Tactics
Next morning, I grabbed my crappy pocket notebook – just plain paper, feels less intimidating. Didn’t try to write to them yet. Just started scribbling a list of stupid little things I notice:
- How you always refill the hand soap without me asking
- The way you warm up my side of the bed when it’s freezing
- Putting gas in my car after you borrow it even though I never ask
- Laughing at my truly terrible jokes
- Never making me feel dumb when I lose my keys. Again.
Didn’t aim for pretty words, just dumped every tiny act I could remember onto the page. Filled a whole sheet. Had no idea they did that much without fuss.
Building Actual Messages
Took that messy list and tried picking one specific thing at a time. Didn’t say “for everything.”
“Hey, noticed the hand soap was full this morning. Sounds silly, but you doing that without any drama actually makes my day start smoother. Thanks.”
Felt awkward as hell texting it. But way more real than the “I appreciate you” garbage.
Tried another one later, more playful:
“Saw you gassed up my car after using it yesterday. Should I just give you the keys permanently? Seriously though, you paying attention to my weird ‘tank half-empty panic’ thing is… really damn sweet.”
The Test Phase & Feedback
Sent a few of these short, specific messages over two days. My partner’s reactions surprised me:
- The gas tank one got an actual 😊 emoji back (rare!)
- Mentioning the bed-warming got a “Wait, you notice that?” text
- They actually brought up the joke one later, smiling
Key thing? They remembered the specifics. My generic crap would’ve been forgotten instantly.
What Clicked For Me
- Forget “Everything”: Naming one tiny thing cuts through the noise.
- Show You Saw It: “Noticed you did X…” proves it mattered.
- Ditch The Poetic: Real > fancy.
- Immediate: Sent it soon after noticing the thing.
- No Pressure: Just sent it. Didn’t wait for a reply.
Been tossing one out every couple days now. Honestly, feels like it’s fixing my own forgetfulness more than anything. And yeah, apparently warming feet is solid gold.
