Today, I wanna talk about something a bit more personal, something that a lot of folks go through but don’t always talk about – separation and divorce, specifically in North Carolina. I’ve been through it, and let me tell you, it’s a journey.
First off, if you’re in NC and thinking about separating, the first big step is, well, separating. You and your spouse gotta live apart. We’re talking different roofs over your heads, not just different rooms. I remember when my ex and I decided to call it quits, packing up and moving out was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid – gotta do it, but man, it stings.
Now, in North Carolina, you gotta be separated for 12 months before you can even think about divorce. It’s a whole year of living separately, no ifs, ands, or buts. During this time, my ex and I, we had to figure out a lot of things on our own – who gets what, who lives where, all that jazz. We tried to keep it civil, for the sake of our sanity, but it wasn’t always easy. We both got our own places, started living our own lives, separate but still kinda connected because, you know, we were still technically married.
- Living apart: This is non-negotiable. Separate bedrooms don’t count. I moved to a small apartment across town. It was lonely at first, but it was also a relief.
- Figuring things out: Finances, belongings, living arrangements. It’s like untangling a really messed up ball of yarn. We had a few sit-downs, just us, trying to divide our lives into two separate piles.
The law in NC says you can get what they call a “legal separation.” It’s not a divorce, but it’s like a formal agreement on how you’re gonna handle things while you’re separated. We looked into it, talked to a lawyer friend, but ended up just making our own informal agreement. We decided how to split our stuff, who pays what bills, all that. It wasn’t legally binding, but it worked for us. It was like drawing a line in the sand, this is my side, that’s yours.
Then there’s the whole issue of spousal support. In NC, it’s not a given that one person pays the other. The court decides based on each case. My ex and I both had jobs, so we didn’t really get into that. We just wanted to move on with our lives without any more drama. It was more about untangling our lives than squeezing money out of each other.
After the year was up, we filed for divorce. It’s called an “absolute divorce” here. Since we didn’t have kids and had already agreed on how to split everything, it was pretty straightforward. No fault, no blame, just two people who couldn’t make it work anymore. It was sad, yeah, but also a relief. Like closing a chapter and starting a new one.
Final Thoughts
Going through a separation and divorce in North Carolina, it’s a process. It’s not just about the legal stuff, but also about untangling two lives that were once intertwined. It’s about finding a way to move forward, to start over. It’s tough, no doubt, but it’s also a chance to find yourself again, to redefine who you are outside of that relationship.
My advice? Take it one step at a time. Separate, live your own lives, figure out the practical stuff, and when the time comes, file for that divorce. It’s not easy, but you’ll get through it. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s from friends, family, or a professional. You’re not alone in this.
