This thing, you know, this conflict, it’s like weeds in my garden. Always popping up, making a mess of things. Me and him, we got this thing, and I don’t know, it’s like two goats butting heads.
I heard some folks talking ’bout this “conflict resolution” thing. Sounds fancy, but maybe it’s just common sense. Like when my chickens fight over the best roosting spot, you gotta figure out what’s going on, right?
Kids and Their Squabbles
Now, kids, they fight like cats and dogs. It’s natural, I reckon. But you gotta teach ’em to deal with it, not just yell and scream. It’s like untangling a messed up fishing line. Gotta be patient, gotta find where the knots are.
- First, you tell them it’s a problem. Not the end of the world, just a problem.
- Then you gotta listen. Let ’em both yap about it, like letting off steam from a kettle.
- After that, you help ’em see what the other one’s yapping about. It’s like, “He took my toy!” “Well, she wouldn’t share!”
- Finally, you get ’em to think of ways to fix it. Sharing, taking turns, that kind of stuff.
Grown-Up Fights
Grown-ups, we ain’t much better. We just hide it more, I guess. But it’s the same thing. Somebody wants something, the other one wants something else, and boom, you got a conflict.
Sometimes, you just gotta walk away. Cool down. Like when the soup’s boiling over, you take it off the fire, right? Come back later when it’s not so hot.
Other times, you gotta talk it out. But not yelling. More like, “Okay, I need this,” and “Well, I need that.” Then you try to find some middle ground. Like trading seeds with the neighbors, you both get something you need.
What’s the Big Deal?
Why bother with all this, you ask? Well, conflict, it’s like a toothache. It just keeps nagging at you. Makes you miserable. Makes everyone around you miserable. And it doesn’t usually fix itself.
I recall once, I had a real bad row with my best friend, Betty. Over a silly quilt pattern. We didn’t speak for months. Felt like a hole in my heart. Finally, I swallowed my pride and went over to her place. We talked, we cried, we figured it out. Still friends to this day.
It’s like, if you got a splinter, you gotta get it out, right? Otherwise, it’ll fester. Same with conflict. You gotta deal with it, or it’ll just get worse.
Figuring Out What’s Important
Sometimes, you gotta figure out what’s really bugging you. Is it really about who gets the last piece of pie, or is it something deeper? Like feeling disrespected, or ignored, or not loved?
It’s like when my old dog, Buster, used to growl at the mailman. Wasn’t really about the mailman, it was about protecting his territory. Once I figured that out, I could train him better.
So you gotta dig deep. What’s the real issue here? What are your needs? What are their needs? That’s like finding the root of a weed. Gotta get the whole thing, or it’ll just grow back.
Working it out.
Sometime you get to work together with the one you arguing with. It’s like them city folk say, co-parent. Like with child, or a dog, or some land, you gotta work it out together.
I seen folks do this, figure out what both want. What they need. And it’s like magic. Not the bad kind. You know what I mean. They start to get along. No more yelling.
It ain’t easy. But it’s better than being at each other’s throat all the time. It’s just plain sense, if you think about it. Like with the farm, you work together, you get a good harvest. You fight, you get nothing but dirt and weeds.
Taking a Break in Conflict
This one time, me and Earl, we were going at it hammer and tongs. About the fence, I think it was. Or maybe the cow. Doesn’t matter. We were mad.
So I just stopped. Said, “Earl, I’m going inside.” And I did. Made some tea. Sat on the porch. Looked at the sky. He did his own thing. Later, we talked. Calmer. Fixed the fence. Or the cow. Whatever it was.
Sometimes, you just need to cool down. Step back. Like when you’re baking bread, you gotta let it rest, right? Same with arguments.
This one feller told me that if you have a big argument you should not talk about it for at least a day, so you have some time to cool down, but you should tell the person you are arguing with that you want to work it out with them in a couple of hours.
So, that’s what I think about conflict. It’s a mess, but you can clean it up. Just takes some time, some patience, and some good old-fashioned common sense. And maybe a little bit of love, too. That always helps, I reckon. These are my conflict resolution techniques, I guess.
