How This Weird Idea Started
So yesterday afternoon, I’m scrolling through Twitter when this dude drops this term – “skull practice” – in a rant about bad dates. Totally clueless what it meant. Grabbed my laptop, typed it into Urban Dictionary. Whoa. Okay. Didn’t expect that. Curiosity poked me hard.
The Deep Dive Mess
Flipped open a new tab, headed straight to Reddit. Dived into old threads on slang subreddits. Started jotting down everything:
- “Knob polishing” (saw this on an ancient AskReddit thread, cringed but wrote it down)
- “Giving a tuna taco” (some terrible meme group comment, almost closed the tab)
- “Sucking face south” (another Reddit dumpster fire find, wincing while typing)
- “Gargling marbles” (wtf? That can’t be right)
- “Beaking the worm” (made ZERO sense)
Half the terms sounded like drunk pirates made ’em up. Kept digging anyway, hitting sketchy urban dictionary clones and random forums. Noticed folks arguing constantly about regional slang. Dude from London swore “giving a bell” was common, but my cousin in Manchester just texted “???” when I asked.
Got distracted twice – once trying to decipher “draining the beef bus” (still confused), once realizing “mushroom stamping” wasn’t slang. Felt messy.
Trying to Sort This Garbage
Slammed my notebook shut around 8PM. Felt like I’d collected linguistic roadkill. How do you organize this nonsense?
- Body Part Descriptions: “Worshiping the bananadick”
- Action Words: “Jibbing the gibbet” (whatever that means)
- Totally Nonsense Food Terms: “Dunk the donut hole”
- Violent Shit: “Face fcking”
Felt pointless trying to categorize garbage slang. People just toss words together.
Why This Trash Exists
Took a break, chewed on it. Realized most slang exists purely to be sneaky. Friends text “wanna gargle marbles later?” instead of being upfront. Avoids awkward parent eyes. Or signals secret interests on bad dating sites. Also, people just love slang. New terms spread faster than herpes.
Still felt icky listing some terms. Felt stupid writing down junk like “whistle solo.”
Finished My Dumb Little List
Crammed everything into notes app categories, trying not to laugh at trash like “spit shine the pole.”
- Sneaky Stuff: “Tobogganing the tadpole”
- Violent Stuff: “Throatpunch”
- Stupid Stuff: “Velvet glazing the weasel”
Ended up with an alphabet soup of nonsense slang. Glad it’s done. Learned tons of idiotic terms humans invent to avoid saying things straight. Weird project.
