So last week my neighbor asked me this weird question about showering boundaries between kids and other adults. Got me thinking hard about what’s actually appropriate.
Starting With My Own Family Rules
First thing I did was look back at how we handled bath times with our kids. When our little ones were under 4, obviously me or my wife always joined them in the shower. Safety first – slippery tiles and all that.
Around kindergarten age, like 5-6, we started teaching them about private parts using simple words. Made “no grownups except parents” rule crystal clear. Funny thing though – they totally hated showering with grandma even when offered!
The Neighbor Situation Brought New Questions
Then my neighbor drops this on me: “Hey my 12-year-old still gets in the tub with his best friend’s mom sometimes – that cool right?”
My brain instantly went:
- Whoa puberty hits around 10-12 for most kids
- Body awareness changes completely by age 10
- Shared nudity gets weird after age 7 or 8 MAX
Checked actual parenting guidelines too – big organizations agree that age 5-6 is usually the cutoff for any non-parent adults seeing kids undressed.
Setting Clear Boundaries
Decided to explain it straight to my neighbor:
- Ages 0-5: Only parents/guardians help bathe
- Ages 6+: Kids wash themselves privately
- NEVER okay for others’ parents at any age
Made laminated charts (my obsession) showing:
- Green zone: Baby/toddler with parents
- Yellow zone: Preschoolers transitioning
- Big red STOP sign starting age 6
How It Played Out
Showed my neighbor the chart next morning – her eyes got huge. “Wait so Mike’s mom shouldn’t be…” I just pointed at the red STOP sign at age 6.
Later saw her teaching her son: “Remember what Mr. Dave said? Only mom and dad help with bath stuff!” Felt good to prevent awkward situations before they happen.
Stick figures on charts work better than lectures!
