Alright, so things had been a bit… frosty around our place for a while. You know how it is. Little digs, the silent treatment over who was supposed to unload the dishwasher – that kind of fun stuff. We weren’t exactly throwing plates, but the air was thick enough to spread on toast. We knew we needed to do something before we ended up as one of those couples who only communicate through their lawyers.
Someone, I think it was my cousin who’s always trying out new self-help fads, mentioned trying worksheets. Sounded a bit like homework to me, and I haven’t willingly done homework since Mr. Henderson’s algebra class, which was a disaster. But, hey, cheaper than therapy, right? So, I did a bit of digging online, and the name “Better Help couples worksheets” popped up a few times. Seemed like a decent starting point. Not like I was signing up for their whole therapy shebang, just looking for some of those printable sheets. Figured it couldn’t hurt. Much.
Getting Started with the Sheets
So, I found a few examples online. They weren’t all specifically branded “Better Help” that I could download for free, but I got the gist of what these kinds of worksheets aim for. Some were about communication, others about shared goals, a few delved into the murky waters of unmet needs. My partner was skeptical, to say the least. Got that look, the one that says, “You’re really going to make me do this, aren’t you?” Yes. Yes, I was.
Our First Attempt: The “Communication Styles” Worksheet
This one was… interesting. We had to identify our communication styles. Turns out, I’m apparently a “passive-aggressive mumbler” according to my partner’s interpretation, and I pegged them as an “expert in the art of the dramatic sigh.” Okay, maybe those weren’t the official terms on the sheet, but that’s how it translated in our living room. We actually had a bit of a laugh, which was progress, I guess. Then we had to practice “active listening.” That was harder. I swear, trying not to interrupt when you think the other person is completely missing the point is a Herculean task.
- We picked a time when we were both relatively calm. Tried doing it when we were already annoyed – bad idea.
- We actually sat down with pens. Felt very official.
- The first few answers were a bit guarded. You know, trying to be “right.”
The Nitty-Gritty and a Few Surprises
We then moved onto one about “Sharing Responsibilities.” Oh boy. This one could have gone south fast. We had to list out all the household chores and who does what. My list of “things I do” was, in my head, miles long. Theirs probably was too, in their head. Seeing it on paper was… sobering. Turns out, we both thought we were doing about 70% of the work. The math doesn’t quite add up there, does it?
It reminded me of when I tried to assemble a flat-pack wardrobe by myself. The instructions looked simple, just like these worksheets. But halfway through, with bits of wood everywhere and a weird number of screws left over, I realized I was in over my head. These worksheets felt a bit like that. Simple questions, but the answers, and the discussions they sparked, were complex.
What I actually did:
- I printed out a few different types I found online, inspired by the “Better Help” concept.
- We set aside about an hour, twice a week, to go through one.
- We made a rule: no storming off. Easier said than done, let me tell you.
- Sometimes we filled them out separately and then compared. Other times, we did it together. The separate-then-compare method usually led to more… uh… lively discussions.
One worksheet asked about “Appreciation.” We had to write down three things we appreciated about each other that week. I struggled a bit the first time, not gonna lie. My brain went blank. I think I wrote “appreciate you not burning the toast” as one. Real Casanova, I am. But after a few weeks, it got easier. It actually forced me to look for the good stuff, instead of just stewing over the dishwasher thing.
So, Did It Work?
Look, these worksheets aren’t some magic wand. Our house didn’t suddenly turn into a rom-com montage. We still have our moments. That dishwasher? Still a point of contention sometimes, if I’m honest. But the whole process of sitting down, actually trying to talk about stuff using these prompts, it did something. It sort of… cracked the ice a bit?
It made us more aware of how we were talking to each other. Or not talking, as the case often was. We didn’t always finish the worksheets. Sometimes we’d get halfway through and then just end up having a proper conversation, which I guess is the point anyway. It wasn’t like going to actual therapy with Better Help, I imagine, but for a DIY approach, it was a step. A small step, but a step in a direction that wasn’t just stony silence or sarcastic remarks about whose turn it was to take out the bins.
It’s like when I decided to learn to bake sourdough during that whole lockdown craze. My first few loaves could have been used as doorstops. Seriously, dense. But I stuck with it, watched a bunch of videos, tweaked things. Eventually, I got a decent loaf. These worksheets were kind of like that. Awkward and a bit messy at first, but with a bit of persistence, something okay started to emerge. We’re still baking, so to speak.
