Okay, so yesterday I got this question buzzing in my head: “Why are Scorpio guys so damn hard to figure out in bed?” Seriously, they seem intense, then distant, then intense again. Ya know? So I decided, screw it, I’m gonna actually pay attention and see what clicks.
How It Started
I started just talking more to a close Scorpio guy friend about stuff. Not just “hey how’s the weather,” but actually digging into feelings and what he thinks about relationships. He’s pretty private usually, so this took some effort. We’d grab coffee or chat late online. I made sure to shut up and listen, like actually listen, not wait for my turn to talk.
I noticed something big right off the bat. He would kinda clam up if stuff got too casual or superficial. But man, when we talked about deeper stuff – trust, fears, what he really wanted – he opened up. His eyes got serious, ya know? Less joking around. That intensity everyone talks about? Yeah, that started showing.
What I Actually Tried (The Simple Stuff)
Based on those chats, I decided to try a few things in real interactions:
- Cut the bullshit. Seriously. I stopped with all the small talk flirting nonsense. If I wanted something, I tried to say it more directly, but not like demanding, just… clear. No games. Instead of hinting I wanted to hang out, I’d say “Hey, let’s grab a drink Thursday, just us.”
- Paid attention to his vibe. Scorpios seem to give off signals, but they’re subtle. That stare? Yeah. The quiet moments? Yeah. If he seemed withdrawn, I didn’t push him to cheer up. I’d just kinda be there quietly, like “It’s cool, take your time.” Damn near impossible for me, but I tried.
- Stopped trying to be all sparkly and shiny. Look, they see through fakeness like it’s glass. I toned down the performance and just… was myself. The messy, kinda weird, sometimes serious self. Owned my weirdness.
- Brought up deep topics naturally. Not like “Let’s discuss your childhood trauma,” but more like sharing something meaningful I saw or felt, and seeing if he bit. Like, mentioning a documentary that hit me hard.
- Respected his space like it was sacred. If he needed time alone or seemed off, I didn’t bug him. I just backed off, trusting he’d come back when he was ready. This was the hardest part, honestly.
The “Oh Damn” Moments
Over a few weeks, it started making sense. That quiet intensity wasn’t disinterest; it was him processing everything intensely inside. His need for privacy wasn’t rejection; it was like recharging his damn battery. When he opened up after those moments of silence? Holy crap, the depth and passion he brought to the connection… totally different league.
I messed up too. One time I pushed him when he clearly wanted space after a tough day. Big mistake. He shut down hard. Lesson learned: space is non-negotiable.
What It Basically Came Down To
After all this watching, talking, and trying stuff, it boiled down to a few simple truths:
- Be Real or Go Home: Fakeness gets spotted and instantly rejected.
- Shut Up and Listen: Actually hear him out, especially the stuff under the surface.
- Space Isn’t Optional: Pushing when he retreats is like poking a bear. Bad idea.
- Depth Trumps Fluff Every Time: They crave mental and emotional connection just as much as physical. Maybe more.
- Trust is THE Currency: Breaking their trust is basically relationship suicide. Takes ages to rebuild, if ever.
It’s not about changing him or learning some magic trick. It’s about understanding his wiring. Stop fighting the intensity and the need for depth. Work with it. Be patient. Be real. And for the love of god, respect that space. Once you get that, dealing with a Scorpio guy’s vibe becomes way less confusing. Still intense, but at least you kinda get why.
