Today, I feel like I need to pour my heart out about something that’s been on my mind, and that’s “relationship conditional trust”. It’s a mouthful, right? But stick with me, it’s worth it.
It all started…
It all started a few months ago. I was seeing this guy, things were going pretty well, I guess. We had fun, laughed a lot, the usual stuff. But then, things started to get a little weird. It felt like he was always testing me, you know? Like, if I didn’t do things exactly his way, he’d pull back. It wasn’t outright bad, no shouting or anything. Just… a feeling that his affection was hanging by a thread, ready to snap if I messed up.
I brushed it off at first. “Everyone has their quirks,” I told myself. But it kept happening. One time, I canceled our date because of a work emergency. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. He got all quiet, distant. It felt like I had committed some major crime. That’s when it hit me: his love felt conditional.
Digging Deeper
I started reading up on this whole “conditional love” thing. Turns out, it’s pretty common. It’s like, “I’ll love you if you do this or if you’re like that.” It’s not always a bad thing, as long as those conditions are not harmful, just reasonable, but still. It doesn’t feel great to be on the receiving end. There were some other things that might be important, like emotional boundaries. Sometimes this kind of love is good for building boundaries. And it might encourage personal growth and responsibility between each other.
I realized our relationship lacked something crucial: unconditional trust. Real trust, the kind where you know the other person has your back, no matter what. Where you can mess up, be yourself, and still be loved. Without that, we were just walking on eggshells around each other.
So, I had a talk with him. A real, honest talk. I laid it all out: how his actions made me feel, how I needed to feel safe and accepted, flaws and all. It wasn’t easy. He got defensive at first, saying I was being “too sensitive.” But I stood my ground. I told him that a relationship without trust is just a ticking time bomb.
And you know what? It still didn’t work out. We ended up going our separate ways. It hurt, no doubt. But it was also a relief. I realized I deserved better than a love that felt like a constant test.
Moving Forward
Now, I’m not saying every relationship needs to be a fairy tale, all rainbows and butterflies. Of course, there will be ups and downs. But I’ve learned that trust is non-negotiable. It’s the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Without it, you’re just building a house of cards, waiting for the slightest breeze to knock it all down.
I know that there are some relationships that last without love. Maybe it is about companionship, shared interests, financial arrangement, social status, or even familial obligations. I do not think there is anything wrong with that, but it is not for me. And I also know that sometimes you can love someone even though you do not trust them, although these two are closely related. They are still two different things.
- Lesson learned: Don’t settle for conditional love.
- Look for: Someone who loves you for you, quirks and all.
- Remember: Trust is built, not demanded. It takes time and effort.
So, that’s my story. It’s not perfect, it’s messy, it’s real. But it’s mine. And I hope, maybe, it helps someone out there who’s feeling the same way. Keep your head up, folks. You deserve a love that’s true and unwavering.
