So, about this 4.5 in girth business. It sounds pretty darn specific, doesn’t it? And believe me, it was. I remember this one time, I was trying to fix this old pump for our rainwater tank out back. Thought it’d be a simple Saturday job, you know? Get a new connector, slap it on, job done. Famous last words, as they say.
I took the old part off, measured it up. The pipe I needed to connect to, or rather, the fitting for it, had to be exactly 4.5 inches in girth. Circumference, really. Not diameter, that’s the tricky bit sometimes. I headed down to the local hardware superstore, all confident. Walked up to the plumbing aisle, and that’s where the fun began. They had 4-inch stuff. They had 5-inch stuff. They even had some weird metric sizes that made no sense to me. But 4.5 inches in girth for this particular type of fitting? Nope. Nada. Zilch.
The kid working there, probably still in high school, just stared blankly when I showed him the old part and my scribbled note with “4.5 in girth” underlined three times. He tapped on his little computer, frowned, and said, “Sir, we don’t seem to carry anything like that. Are you sure it’s 4.5?” Yeah, I was sure. I’d measured it with a tailor’s tape, nice and snug.
Why was I even messing with this old pump, you ask?
Well, that’s the kicker. This was a few years back. I’d just been laid off. Company “restructuring,” they called it. One day you’re a team lead, next day you’re packing your desk plant into a cardboard box. So, money was tight. Real tight. Calling a plumber for what I thought was a tiny fix? Not an option. It was DIY or let the rainwater tank sit there, useless.
So, this stupid 4.5-inch problem became a real thorn in my side. I spent the next week, no joke, visiting every hardware store, plumbing supply, even some of those old-timer places that smell like rust and forgotten dreams. Nothing. Online was a maze of conflicting descriptions and sketchy overseas sellers. I found things that looked right in the tiny pictures, but the specs were always off, or they wouldn’t list the girth, just some weird internal code.
It got to a point where it wasn’t just about the pump. It was about me, feeling like a complete failure. Couldn’t find a job, couldn’t even fix a simple leak because of this phantom 4.5-inch part. I remember sitting on the garage floor, greasy old part in my hand, just feeling defeated. My wife kept saying, “Honey, just leave it, it’s not worth the stress.” But it was. It was a matter of pride, I guess. Or stubbornness.
In the end, I had to get creative. Found a slightly larger rubber adapter, a couple of hose clamps that were definitely not meant for that kind of pressure, and a whole tube of that industrial-strength sealant stuff they use on boats. It was an ugly fix. A real Frankenstein job. But, you know what? It held. For about a year, anyway, before it started dripping again.
That whole ordeal over 4.5 in girth. It taught me a few things. Patience, for one. And that sometimes, the “standard” sizes aren’t so standard. And that when you’re down, even small problems can feel huge. I did eventually find a new job, something totally different. But every now and then, I see an old pump or a weird-sized pipe, and I just gotta chuckle. 4.5 inches, man. What a saga.
