Okay, so let’s talk about this. When I first realized my partner was, well, significantly girthier than anything I’d experienced before, it was a bit of a shock to the system, honestly. It wasn’t something you just immediately know how to handle.
Figuring Things Out
The first few times were… challenging. There was definitely discomfort, sometimes actual pain, and it made things stressful instead of enjoyable. That wasn’t fair to either of us. We knew we had to figure something out if this was going to work long-term. Ignoring it wasn’t an option.
So, here’s kinda the process we went through, step-by-step, just trying stuff out:
- Talking: First, and maybe the hardest part, was actually talking about it openly. No blaming, just, “Hey, this is physically difficult right now, what can we try?” It took some courage, but it opened the door. He needed to know what I was feeling, and I needed to know he was willing to be patient and work with me.
- Lube, Lots of It: Seriously, this became non-negotiable. We experimented with different kinds. Water-based was okay, but we found silicone-based lube lasted longer and provided better glide for this specific situation. And don’t be shy with it! We learned pretty quickly that using way more than you think you need is key. We keep it right by the bed, always.
- Foreplay Overdrive: We really stretched out the foreplay. Like, really stretched it out. The goal was maximum relaxation and natural readiness. Rushing things was the absolute enemy. More touching, more kissing, more everything before even thinking about intercourse helped my body relax and become more receptive.
- Finding the Right Angles: This was trial and error. We started trying different positions to see what felt less intense pressure-wise. Positions where I had more control over the depth and angle of entry were often better. Me being on top was a big one, because I could control the pace and how deep he went. Spooning sometimes worked too, as it seemed to change the angle. Lying on my side with one leg up also seemed to help sometimes. There wasn’t one magic position, it was about finding a few that worked better for us on different days.
- Slow and Steady: Patience became our mantra. Especially at the beginning of intercourse. Going incredibly slow, letting my body adjust gradually, was crucial. If I felt pain, we stopped or slowed right down. My partner had to be really mindful of this, and thankfully, he was very patient.
- Relaxation is Key: I had to consciously focus on relaxing my pelvic muscles. Sounds silly, maybe, but tensing up just makes everything worse. Deep breaths, focusing on staying loose – it made a noticeable difference. It’s like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize you were making.
Where We Are Now
So, what’s the result of all this practice? It’s much, much better. Is it always perfect? No, sometimes it still takes extra care and attention. But we turned something that was a source of anxiety and pain into something manageable and enjoyable.
The biggest takeaways for us were:
- Communication is everything. You have to talk about it.
- Lube is your best friend. Use lots.
- Patience and slow pacing, especially at first, are critical.
- Experiment with positions to find what feels best for the receiving partner.
- Loads of foreplay helps immensely with relaxation and readiness.
It took time, effort, and a willingness from both sides to make adjustments. But yeah, you can definitely make it work. It’s just about finding your way through it together.
