Okay, so, I gotta talk about this. It’s been bugging me, and I just need to get it off my chest. My husband has this thing…he yells. A lot. And honestly, it’s starting to really get to me.
It all started pretty innocently, I guess. A few raised voices here and there when things got heated. But then, it started happening more often. It didn’t matter if it was a big deal or something small, he’d just…snap. And the yelling would start.
At first, I tried to brush it off. I mean, everyone gets angry, right? And he always says he doesn’t mean it afterwards. But the thing is, it’s not just the yelling itself. It’s the way he gets when he yells. His face gets all red, his veins pop out, and he says some really hurtful things. It made me feel scared, and like I was walking on eggshells all the time. One day I accidently broke a glass and he just started yelling like crazy. I got so scared I started crying. That was the first time I felt like there was really a problem.
So, I started doing some research. I needed to understand what was going on. I read a bunch of articles online. One mentioned that yelling is a form of verbal abuse. That hit me hard. I never thought of it that way before. Another article talked about learned behavior, and how people who grew up in households where yelling was normal might do it themselves. I remember my husband once told me his dad used to yell a lot. Maybe that’s where he learned it?
Then there were these articles about the psychological effects of being yelled at. Let me tell you, they were spot on. Increased stress, anxiety, feeling like you’re worthless…that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. It’s like, I started doubting myself all the time, wondering if I was doing something wrong, if I deserved to be yelled at. After a while I just felt numb, like a zombie just doing what I was told.
But then I found some tips on how to deal with it. Things like staying calm, setting boundaries, and even seeking outside help. I realized I couldn’t just keep taking it. I had to do something.
- Staying calm – This was super hard at first. My natural reaction was to yell back or cry. But I started practicing deep breaths, counting to ten, just trying to stay as calm as possible.
- Setting boundaries – This was a big one. I had to find a way to tell him that yelling was not okay. It took a few tries, but I finally managed to tell him, calmly but firmly, that I wouldn’t tolerate being yelled at anymore.
- Seeking outside support – I started talking to a close friend about what was going on. Just having someone to listen and understand made a huge difference. I even started seeing a therapist, which has been really helpful in processing my feelings and figuring out how to cope.
- Couple’s therapy – After a particularly bad episode, I suggested we try couple’s therapy. He was hesitant at first, but eventually agreed. It’s been a long and difficult process, but we’re starting to make some progress.
It’s still a work in progress, obviously. He still slips up sometimes, and I still have my bad days. But things are definitely better than they were. We’re communicating more, and he’s starting to understand the impact his yelling has on me.
The biggest thing I’ve learned through all of this is that I’m not alone, and that it’s okay to ask for help. If you’re going through something similar, please know that you don’t have to suffer in silence. There are people who care and resources available to help you.
It’s a long road, but I’m hopeful that things will continue to get better. And who knows, maybe one day the yelling will stop for good. That’s the dream, anyway.
