Okay, so I’ve been digging into this whole “men and emotional intelligence” thing lately, and let me tell you, it’s been a bit of a journey. I started by, you know, just casually observing the guys around me – my friends, my family, even dudes at the coffee shop.
I started simple. I’d just watch how they reacted to stuff. Did they seem to notice when someone was upset? Did they talk about their feelings, or just kinda bottle it up? Honestly, at first, it was a bit of a mixed bag.
My Observations
- The Poker Faces: Some guys were like, total walls. You couldn’t tell if they were happy, sad, or just thinking about what they wanted for lunch.
- The “I’m Fine” Crew: These guys would clearly be bothered by something, but they’d just say “I’m fine” even if their face said otherwise.
- The Open Books: Surprisingly, there were a few who were actually pretty good at expressing themselves. They’d say things like, “Yeah, that kinda bummed me out” or “I’m feeling pretty stressed about this.”
Then I started asking questions. Not in a super formal, interview-y way, just casually, like, “Hey, how are you really doing?” or “That sounds frustrating, what happened?”.
I tried to create a safe space, you know? Like, I wouldn’t judge them or interrupt. I’d just listen and try to understand where they were coming from. And that’s when things got interesting.
Some guys still clammed up, but others started to open up a little. They’d talk about their worries, their frustrations, even their fears. It was like they were testing the waters, seeing if it was okay to show some vulnerability.
The “Aha!” Moment
And that’s when I realized something. It’s not that men don’t have emotional intelligence, it’s that they’ve often been taught not to show it. It’s like they’ve got this muscle that they haven’t been allowed to use, so it’s gotten a bit weak.
So, I started experimenting. I’d share my own feelings more openly, even the messy ones. I’d talk about times I felt insecure or overwhelmed. And slowly, some of the guys around me started to do the same.
It wasn’t a magic fix, of course. Some guys are still more comfortable keeping things inside. But I’ve seen a real shift in some of my relationships. We’re talking more honestly, connecting on a deeper level. It’s like we’ve unlocked a new level of friendship.
It’s still a work in progress, for sure. But I’m feeling pretty good about where things are headed. It’s like we’re all learning this new language together, and it’s making our connections stronger and more real.
