Honestly, I felt kinda stupid even typing that title, but lemme tell ya how this whole “dick confidence” experiment went down. Saw some dudes online swaggering about how big dick energy isn’t actually about size but attitude, and I figured – hell, why not test-drive it myself?
Getting Started With Weird Energy Stuff
First, I grabbed my trusty notepad. Decided to ditch my usual slouchy hoodie and wore bright red sneakers instead. Felt ridiculous walking to the grocery store, shoulders pulled back, trying to “own the space” like those internet guys said. Caught my reflection in a store window – looked like a penguin trying to strut. Cashier didn’t even notice my shoes. Epic fail.
Fake-Talking To Walls
Tried the whole power posing thing alone in my bathroom. Stood like Superman for two whole minutes before my cat pawed the door open. She gave me that judging-cat-stare that basically screamed “human, you’re embarrassing us both.” Still, weirdly felt less jittery before my weekly team Zoom call that day. Maybe not total nonsense?
Actually Talking To Humans
Then came the scary part – talking to strangers. Ordered coffee at a new place and deliberately held eye contact an extra second. Barista just blinked and asked for $4.75. But when I tried complimenting the girl refilling creamers? Total disaster. Stuttered out “yo the creamer situation’s on point today” like a malfunctioning robot. Her awkward smile haunts me.
What Sorta Worked
- Started saying “no” more to dumb requests at work – even if my voice cracked doing it
- Stopped adding “just” and “maybe” to every freaking sentence
- Hooked an old disco ball in my home office – dancing at random intervals actually helps
Here’s the kicker though – none of this suddenly gave me superpowers. But slowly, without noticing? The guy who used to obsess over imaginary judgments started fading. Today I wore mismatched socks to the bank. Teller complimented ’em. Turns out “dick confidence” is mostly about forgetting everyone’s staring – ’cause usually? They’re staring at their phones.
