Okay, so today I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while – relationship stuff. I’m no expert, but I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and I found these books by Julie and John Gottman. They’re like the go-to people for relationship advice. I got curious and decided to check them out.
I started with finding where to get these books. I searched around on the internet, you know, just browsed through some online bookstores and reader forums. I found a couple of mentions of “Julie Gottman books” on those bookish websites, and it seemed like people were really into them. But these mentions didn’t give me much detail. I had a hard time figuring out how many books she wrote.
So, I went ahead and looked up Julie Gottman’s name on the internet. I saw some people saying she wrote around 23 books, but honestly, I couldn’t find a proper list. It was all a bit confusing, and I didn’t even know which one to start with.
Then I saw a few titles pop up, like “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” and “Eight Dates.” I got curious about this “Eight Dates” book because it sounded kind of different. I thought, “Maybe this is a good starting point.”
I looked up “Eight Dates” and it turned out to be more like a guide for couples. It got me thinking, maybe I should start with something more basic. So, I went back to the “Seven Principles” book. People online were saying it’s a classic, so I decided to give it a shot.
I found a copy of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” and started reading. It was a bit of a slow start, but I was interested in what they had to say. They talked about this 5:1 ratio thing, which is basically about having five good interactions for every bad one. Sounds simple, right?
I tried using the 5:1 ratio in my own relationship. It was weird at first, like I was keeping score or something. But after a while, I started noticing a change. We were arguing less, and when we did, it wasn’t as intense. I don’t know if it’s because of the book or just us trying harder, but it felt good.
Then I moved on to “Eight Dates.” This one was more like a workbook. It had all these conversation starters and activities for couples to do together. I thought, “Why not?” and tried it out with my partner.
We did a few of the “dates” from the book. Some were fun, some were a bit awkward, but it was nice to talk about things we don’t usually talk about. It felt like we were getting to know each other again, even though we’ve been together for years.
I also found out about this concept of different conflict styles. I learned that arguing doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. It’s more about how you argue. I tried to understand what our conflict style is and how we could communicate better.
I realized that we’re probably what they call “volatile,” which means we argue a lot but we also make up quickly. We’re not disrespectful, and sometimes we even laugh about it later. It was kind of a relief to know that it’s normal for some couples to be like that.
Here’s what I tried:
- Reading: I read “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” and “Eight Dates.”
- 5:1 Ratio: I tried to have five positive interactions for every negative one with my partner.
- Dates: We did some of the activities from “Eight Dates.”
- Conflict Styles: I tried to understand our conflict style and communicate better during arguments.
So, yeah, that’s my experience with the Gottman books so far. I’m still learning, and I don’t think I’ll ever be a relationship guru, but it’s been an interesting journey. If you’re curious about this stuff, maybe give these books a try. Just remember, every relationship is different, so what works for one couple might not work for another. It’s all about finding what works for you and your partner. And hey, if you’ve got any tips or book recommendations, let me know!
