Alright, let’s talk about this whole “I love you more” thing. It’s something I’ve bumped into a lot over the years, said it myself plenty too, probably without much thought behind it initially.
It started innocently enough, you know? Back and forth with my partner, maybe even with my kids when they were younger. “I love you!” “Nah, I love you more!” It felt like this playful little game, a competition almost. Who could get the last word in, who loved the ‘mostest’.
But then, one evening, I was just sitting there, quiet, and I started really thinking about it. What did that ‘more’ actually mean? Was I trying to quantify something that, honestly, can’t really be measured like cups of flour? It felt a bit strange when I properly thought about it.
So, I decided to do a little experiment, just for myself. I started paying attention.
- I listened when other people said it. What was the vibe? Was it genuine warmth, or just habit, like saying ‘bless you’ after a sneeze?
- I watched my own reactions when someone said it to me. Did it feel good? Sometimes, yeah. Other times, it felt a tiny bit… hollow? Like we were missing the point.
- I consciously stopped trying to ‘win’ the “I love you more” game. Instead of firing back with “more”, I just tried to absorb the “I love you” part. Sometimes I’d just say “I love you too” and really mean it.
What I figured out
Through this little personal practice, just observing and tweaking my own habit, I kind of landed here: the “more” part isn’t really the important bit. It can even distract from the core message. Love isn’t about winning or keeping score. It felt much better, much more real, to just focus on the “I love you” and, more importantly, on showing it.
You know, doing the little things. Making the coffee, listening properly when they talk, being there when things are rough. That stuff seems to say “I love you” way louder than adding “more” at the end. So yeah, that’s where I ended up. Less talking about ‘more’, more doing the actual loving part. Feels right to me.
