So, I was scrolling through my usual blogs the other day, and I came across this post that really got me thinking. It was all about whether calling someone “too feminine” is homophobic. It made me stop and wonder, “Have I ever done that? What does it even mean?” I decided to dive deeper into this whole thing and see what I could find out.
I started by hitting up Google to get a better grasp of what people are talking about when they say “femboy” and “internalized homophobia.” Turns out, “femboy” is just a slang term for a guy who likes to wear traditionally feminine stuff like dresses or skirts. It’s just a mix of “feminine” and “boy.” Then there’s “internalized homophobia,” which is basically when someone who’s attracted to the same sex starts to believe all the negative stuff they hear about LGBTQ+ people. It’s like they turn that prejudice inward on themselves.
I also looked into what misgendering is, which is when you call someone by the wrong name or use the wrong pronouns for them. I found a quote from someone named Bre Kidman that explained it pretty well. They said misgendering is “intentionally or unintentionally referring to someone using signifiers of a gender other than the one they identify with.” This can happen when you just assume someone’s gender based on how they look and call them something they don’t identify with. It can also happen when you keep using pronouns that someone has told you are wrong for them.
I realized that I’ve probably misgendered people before without even realizing it. We’re all so used to assuming things based on how people look, but that’s not always accurate. It’s like judging a book by its cover.
I spent a good chunk of my day reading articles and watching videos about this stuff. I found out that using biased language can actually lead to bigger problems, like bullying. It can make the environment feel unsafe, both emotionally and physically.
Then, I started thinking about how I talk to people in my daily life. I’m usually pretty good about using people’s names, but sometimes I slip up and use the wrong pronoun, especially if someone’s appearance doesn’t match what I expect. It made me think about the importance of being more mindful about how we talk to each other.
I also talked to a few of my friends about it. We had a really good conversation about how important it is to respect everyone’s identity, even if it’s different from our own. We talked about how we can all do better by just paying attention and not making assumptions.
I kept a journal of my thoughts and conversations throughout this whole process. I wrote down key phrases and ideas that stood out to me, and I also jotted down some action steps I could take to be more inclusive in my language.
I even practiced using neutral language in conversations. It felt a bit awkward at first, but the more I did it, the easier it got. It’s like learning a new skill—it takes practice.
In the end, I came to the conclusion that calling someone “too feminine” can definitely be seen as homophobic, especially if it’s used to put someone down or make them feel bad about who they are. It’s all about respect and understanding that everyone is different. We should all strive to use language that’s inclusive and makes people feel comfortable, not alienated.
This whole experience was a real eye-opener for me. It made me more aware of the impact my words can have on others. I’m definitely going to keep working on being more mindful and inclusive in how I communicate. It’s a journey, but it’s one that’s worth taking.
