Okay, so let’s talk about this whole ‘reborn again virgin’ thing I’ve been working through. It wasn’t like a lightning bolt moment, more like a slow realization that things needed a serious reset.
Getting Started: The Why and How
Life got complicated, you know? Relationships, expectations, just the general noise of it all. I felt like I was carrying around a lot of baggage that wasn’t even mine half the time. I remember sitting there one evening, just feeling completely drained, and thinking I needed to wipe the slate clean somehow. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. Get back to basics, find my own baseline again.
So, I decided. I was going to draw a line. Start over. The phrase ‘reborn again virgin’ kinda popped into my head. Not in a super religious way for me, more like reclaiming a sense of self, hitting a factory reset on my approach to intimacy and connection.
Here’s what I actually did, step-by-step:
- Mental Shift First: I spent a lot of time just thinking. Really digging into why I felt the need for this. Had to be honest with myself about past choices and patterns. It wasn’t about blaming anyone, just understanding my own part.
- Setting Boundaries: This was huge. I had to consciously decide what I was and wasn’t okay with anymore. That meant communicating differently, sometimes saying no more often, even when it felt awkward. It meant cutting off connections that felt draining or unhealthy. Yeah, lost a few ‘friends’, but maybe they weren’t the right kind anyway.
- Changing Habits: Small things, really. Less time scrolling through stuff that made me feel inadequate. More time doing things just for me – walks, reading, working on hobbies. Trying to fill my own cup, you know? Instead of looking for someone else to do it.
- Physical Space: Sounds weird maybe, but I even changed up my living space a bit. Cleared out clutter. Made it feel more like my sanctuary. A place where the new mindset could actually stick.
The Ongoing Practice
It’s not like flipping a switch. It’s a daily thing. Some days are easier than others. There are moments of doubt, old habits trying to creep back in. It takes conscious effort to stay on track, to remember the ‘why’.
It feels different, though. Quieter in my head. Less pressure. I’m finding I connect with people differently now, maybe on a deeper level when I do connect, because it’s not clouded by old expectations or needs. It’s more intentional.
There’s a sense of… self-possession, maybe? Like I’m back in the driver’s seat of my own life, especially regarding my personal boundaries and choices about intimacy. It’s not about deprivation, it’s about choosing differently. Choosing me, first.
So yeah, that’s the process. Still ongoing. Still learning. But it feels like a necessary step I took. Just clearing the decks and starting fresh. Feels good, mostly. Cleaner.
