Okay, so, let me tell you about this whole journey I went on when I found out my kid was intersex. It was a lot, I won’t lie. When the doctor first told us, I was like, “Intersex? What’s that even mean?” I felt so lost and confused. We’re talking about my baby here, and I just wanted to do what was right, you know?

First thing I did? Hit the internet, of course. I started Googling like crazy, trying to find any information I could. But honestly, a lot of it was so clinical and cold. It felt like they were talking about some scientific specimen, not my child. Some people online were using the term “disorder,” which really didn’t sit right with me. My kid isn’t “disordered.” I wanted to understand, though, so I kept reading.
Then, I started looking for support groups. I figured there had to be other parents out there going through the same thing. I stumbled upon some organizations, AGA and InterConnect and such, which were helpful. It was a relief to know I wasn’t alone. Even better, I connected with a few other parents online, and we started chatting. Sharing stories, fears, and advice. That was a game-changer, I gotta say.
One thing that kept coming up was the importance of letting intersex kids make their own choices about their bodies. I mean, it makes sense, right? It’s their body, their life. We started talking to our kid early on, even when they were little, about their body and how it’s unique. We wanted them to feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their feelings. No secrets, no shame.
- The real work began with educating others.
Family, friends… some of them had never even heard of intersex before. So, we had these conversations, explained what it meant, and how it affected our kid. Most people were genuinely curious and wanted to learn. Some were a little uncomfortable, but hey, that’s okay. We just kept talking, answering their questions, and sharing our experience.
- It wasn’t always easy.
There were definitely some tough moments. Times when I felt overwhelmed, unsure of what to do next. But having that support network, those other parents, made a huge difference. And seeing my kid grow up, confident and happy in their own skin, that’s what it’s all about, right?

My Real Advice
If you’re a parent of an intersex child, just remember you’re not alone. Don’t try to be brave and don’t hide anything. Do your research, connect with others, and most importantly, listen to your child. Let them know they’re loved and supported, no matter what. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. We’re all in this together. We can share the resources I found and the groups we joined. I felt safe and learned a lot from them. Maybe you can find it helpful too.