So last Tuesday night, my girlfriend Maria shut down completely after I tried initiating sex. Again. That heavy silence afterward? Yeah, brutal. We just kinda stared at the ceiling feeling miles apart. Something had to give. That’s when I dug up this old article titled Improving Sexo Masculino y Femenino and decided to try its 5 Easy Steps. Screw it, right? Desperate times.
Step 1: Actually Shut Up and Listen (No, Really)
Next morning over burnt toast, instead of jumping into “So about last night…” like usual, I forced myself to just ask, “How you feelin’ this morning?” and shut my trap. Maria blinked. She actually started talking – about work stress, not sex – but hey, progress. My instinct was to fix it immediately. Nope. Just nodded. Turns out listening means no interrupting and definitely no solutions unless asked. Who knew?
Step 2: That Uncomfortable Chat
After dinner, palms sweaty, I brought it up. “Okay, that article thing… talked about being clearer about what feels good, physically.” Awkward as hell. Maria snorted, “Five easy steps? Seriously?” But she didn’t leave. We agreed on a dumb rule: one suggestion each. Mine: “Maybe slow down at the start?” Hers: “Less focus on my boobs immediately.” Simple, stupidly obvious things we’d never said out loud.
Step 3: The “Do-Over” That Felt Weird
Friday night felt like a weird re-run. We agreed to try just applying those two things. No pressure for sex. Just… try touching differently. Felt mechanical as heck at first. Like following bad IKEA instructions. “Okay, now less boob, check… slow movements, check… feeling ridiculous, double check.” But after a few minutes? Less tense. Breathing actually synced up. Didn’t go further. Just stopped. Felt surprisingly okay. Neutral even. A win, honestly.
Step 4: Messy Follow-Through
Saturday, life chaos hit – work call, leaking faucet, general irritability. Old habits yelled: “Just grab a beer and zone out.” But nope. Remembered Step 1. Asked Maria about her day. Listened through her rant about her boss. Didn’t fix it. Later, initiated touch without it being a prelude to sex. Just rubbed her shoulders while she read. Simple. Non-eventful. Huge for us.
Step 5: Putting It Together (Kinda)
Sunday morning, kinda naturally rolled into things. Still conscious about those two points – slow start, broader focus. Maria actually initiated touching me differently first this time – “Like this okay?” – way softer than usual. It wasn’t fireworks, but it felt connected. Felt like we were both kinda awkwardly trying to pay attention to the other person, not just ourselves. Definitely smoother. Less pressure. Zero awkward silence after. Just caffeinated pancakes after.
Was it magical? Nah. Easy? Only kinda. It took actual effort to shut my fix-it brain off, swallow the awkwardness, and feel like a beginner again. It’s still work. But that heavy ceiling-staring silence? Haven’t felt that since Tuesday. We finally started talking – really talking – and touching like partners, not opponents. Still figuring it out, but at least we’re figuring it out together now. That’s the win.
