Okay, so the other day, I was scrolling through TikTok, and I kept seeing these videos about “if he wanted to, he would.” It got me thinking, is this really a thing? Does it apply to everything? So, I decided to put it to the test. I’m not gonna lie, I was kinda skeptical, but also curious.
My Little Experiment
First, I picked something small. I’ve been wanting this specific brand of coffee that’s only sold at this one store, a bit of a drive away. I casually mentioned it to my boyfriend, you know, no pressure, just “Oh, that coffee sounds amazing!” I didn’t ask him to get it, didn’t hint, nothing. Just planted the seed.
- Day 1: Nothing. Totally expected.
- Day 2: Still nothing. Starting to think this whole “if he wanted to” thing was bogus.
- Day 3: He comes home with the coffee! He said he was in the area for work and remembered I mentioned it. Okay, point for the theory!
Next, I upped the ante a bit. There’s this concert coming up, a band I really like. I talked about it a few times, how much I wanted to go, but again, no direct request for tickets. I just expressed my excitement.
- Week 1: He asked a few questions about the band, seemed mildly interested.
- Week 2: He looked up the tour dates, then casually mentioned he had a busy week coming up. My hopes sank a little.
- Week 3: Boom! He surprised me with tickets! Said he knew how much I wanted to go and wanted to do something nice. Alright, “if he wanted to” is gaining some serious credibility!
The Big Test
The biggest one, and this was purely observational, was my friend Sarah’s situation. Her birthday will comming soon, she has been dating this guy for several months, and she would have liked a thoughtful birthday present. She didn’t tell him what, just that birthdays are super important to her.
- She made sure she got her boyfriend something very personalized for his birthday.
- She talked about past birthdays, and how much certain gifts had meant to her.
- On the birthday, her boyfriend got her…a gift card to a generic store, which she thought very perfunctory.
What I Learned
So, based on my highly unscientific experiments, here’s what I figured out about “if he wanted to, he would”:
It seems like it mostly holds true, at least in my limited experience. BUT, it’s not about mind-reading. It’s about paying attention and showing you care. You have to communicate your desires. It’s more about the effort and thoughtfulness behind the action, not necessarily the action itself. It’s a pretty good indicator of how much someone cares and how much they’re willing to put into the relationship.
I’m definitely going to keep this “if he wanted to” idea in mind. It’s a simple way to gauge someone’s genuine interest and effort. But remember, communication is key! You can’t expect someone to know what you want if you don’t give them some hints!
