Okay, here’s my attempt at a blog post, following your instructions and example:
So, the other day, I’m just chilling, right? Doing my thing, maybe folding laundry or scrolling through Instagram, and boom! My husband starts yelling. Like, out of nowhere. And my first thought was, “Whoa, where did that come from?” I’m generally a pretty chill person, I like my peace and quiet, that yelling just hit me with a strange feeling. So, I decided I to figuring out the why.
First, I took a deep breath. Seriously, that’s step one. My internal reaction it’s like get defensive, or yell back. But I have figured out, that never helps, just make things worse.
What I Did First
- Stopped what I was doing. I mean completely stopped. No more folding, no more scrolling. Full attention on him, even though he was yelling.
- Tried to look at him. Eye contact is a thing, yeah? Even when someone’s mad, I think they are easy.
- Just…listened. Didn’t interrupt, didn’t argue, just let him get it all out. This was super hard, believe me.
It turned out it was all work. All the pressure from work got him, and that makes him become like that. After his yelling, I made sure my words are soft, and try to understand. It turns out he’s been stressed about a project at work. He felt like he was drowning in deadlines and wasn’t getting any support. Nothing to do with me at all! (Phew!)
Digging Deeper
After he calmed down a bit, we started actually talking. Not yelling, just talking. I asked him some questions, like:
- “What exactly happened today that made you so upset?”
- “Have you been feeling like this for a while?”
- “Is there anything I can do to help, even just a little bit?”
This part took a while, but its work. Turns out he was just to release the bad things in his mind, the point is, he did it.
We ended up making a plan. He’s going to talk to his boss about the workload, and I’m going to try to take a few things off his plate at home. And we both agreed that yelling isn’t the way to go. We’re going to try to communicate better before things get to that point. I told him he tell me the bad things.
It’s a work in progress, I know. But at least now I have a better understanding of why the yelling happened, and we’ve got a plan to try to prevent it in the future. Marriage, man, it’s a wild ride.
