Okay, so, yesterday was a bit of a rough one. My husband, you know, he’s usually a pretty chill guy, but yesterday… not so much. It all started in the morning. I was making breakfast, humming along to some music, feeling pretty good. And then, bam! He comes into the kitchen and starts yelling. About what? About the fact that I bought the wrong kind of cereal. The wrong kind of cereal, guys. I mean, come on!
I was taken aback, to say the least. I tried to calm him down, told him it wasn’t a big deal, I’d get the right one next time. But he just kept going. It escalated so quickly. Suddenly, it wasn’t about the cereal anymore. It was about everything I apparently do wrong. The way I load the dishwasher, the way I fold the laundry, even the way I breathe! Okay, maybe not that last one, but it sure felt like it.
I tried to defend myself, but that just seemed to make it worse. So, I did what any sane person would do – I retreated. I went to our bedroom and closed the door. I could still hear him yelling, but at least it was muffled. I sat on the bed, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I started to cry, not gonna lie. It was just so overwhelming.
After a while, I decided I couldn’t just stay there forever. I had to figure something out. So, I took some deep breaths, tried to calm myself down. I remembered reading something about setting boundaries, about not reacting to yelling. I thought, “Okay, I can do this.”
I went back out there, and he was still fuming. But this time, I didn’t engage. I just looked at him and said, as calmly as I could, “I don’t appreciate being yelled at. When you’re ready to talk calmly, we can discuss this.” And then I walked away. Again.
- This time, I went to the living room and put on some headphones. I turned up the music and just tried to tune him out. It wasn’t easy, but it was better than engaging in a screaming match.
- After about an hour, he came into the living room, looking much calmer. He apologized, said he was stressed about work, and that he shouldn’t have taken it out on me. We talked, like actually talked, for a long time. It was hard, but it was good.
We’re still working through things, you know? It’s not like everything is magically fixed now. But I feel like we made some progress. I realized that I need to stand up for myself more, and he realized that yelling is not okay.
What I learned:
- Set Boundaries: When someone is yelling at you, it’s important to set boundaries and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable.
- Stay Calm: Reacting to yelling with more yelling usually just makes the situation worse. It’s hard, but try to stay calm.
- Communicate: When both of you are calm, try to communicate openly and honestly about what happened and how you can prevent it from happening again.
It’s a process, you know? But I’m hopeful that we can get through this. Relationships are tough, but they’re also worth fighting for. And sometimes, fighting means walking away and putting on some headphones. I even start thinking about finding a therapist to help both of us.
