Okay so I tried figuring out this whole sex scene thing last month for my indie film project. Totally clueless at first – like why do some scenes feel awkward while others hit right? Here’s exactly how my dumpster fire of attempts went down step by step.
My Starting Point Was A Hot Mess
Grabbed my notebook Tuesday night after watching three random Netflix romcoms. Big mistake. Wrote this cringy bedroom dialogue:
- Character A: “Your eyes… like molten chocolate”
- Character B: “Touch me where the spreadsheet doesn’t reach”
Yeah. Burned that paper immediately. Realized I needed structure, not cheesy lines.
The 7-Step Frankenstein Method
Wednesday morning I made coffee and tried this beginner guide from some film forum:
Step 1: Dug through old photos for inspiration. Found my grandparents’ beach picnic pic – not awkward at all.
Step 2: Wrote “JUST KISS ALREADY” on sticky notes everywhere. My cat looked concerned.
Step 3: Seriously debated choreographing movements with chess pieces. Queen to E4? No.
Step 4: Changed lighting 12 times. Settled for one lamp with red scarf over it. Looked like a crime scene.
Step 5: Whispered dialogue to my potted fern. Fern did not react well.
Step 6: Filmed 37 takes of hands touching. Only 3 weren’t blurry.
Step 7: Edited to “Careless Whisper”. Unironically. Shut laptop. Drank entire kombucha.
Reality Check Time
Thursday showed the footage to my barista friend Maya. Her reaction:
- “Why do they look like they’re doing tax forms?”
- “The saxophone solo made me snort latte”
- “Whose elbow was that? A chicken wing?”
Went home feeling like I directed refrigerator manual. But! Now I know – intimacy isn’t about perfect steps. That beginner guide missed the big stuff: breathing room, weird pauses, the way real people actually move. Next time? More messiness. Less sax.
