Okay, so I figured it was time to chat about something super practical that newbies need to know – using toys safely. Because trust me, my first time? Total fail. Here’s how I screwed up and what I learned.
Step 1: Picking My First Toy (Mistake #1)
I just grabbed whatever looked cool off some random site, didn’t even check the material. Big oops. Ended up with this cheap jelly thing that smelled like a gas station tire. Realized later that body-safe silicone or glass are the only way to go.
Step 2: Getting It Ready
Rinsed it under tap water real quick like it was an apple – dumb move. Didn’t know you gotta boil non-electric toys or use toy cleaner. Almost skipped reading instructions too. Pro tip: actually read that tiny pamphlet it comes with.
Step 3: Lube Disaster
Grabbed my regular water-based lube without thinking. Thing is, I got a silicone toy. Tried it anyway… and the lube melted the damn surface. Saw little weird bumps forming. Panic-deleted my browser history while scrubbing it off.
Step 4: Actually Using It
Forgot to trim my nails first. Ouch. Also went way too fast like I was racing – hello soreness later. Learned: start stupidly slow, use WAY more lube than you think you need, and chill the hell out.
Step 5: Cleaning Up Afterwards
Almost left it chilling on my nightstand overnight. Forgot about bacteria party time. Now I clean immediately with warm water + mild soap. For porous materials? Trash. Ain’t risking infections.
So here’s my messy experience turned into 10 raw tips for new folks:
- Material matters – Body-safe only or regret it.
- Lube check – Silicone toy? Water-based lube only.
- Prep like surgery – Wash hands + nails, every damn time.
- Clean BEFORE & AFTER – No shortcuts, ever.
- Lube isn’t optional – Seriously, drown that thing.
- Start slow as hell – You’re not in a porn, relax.
- Listen to your body – Hurts? STOP. Don’t power through.
- Check for damage – Cracks? Toss it. Don’t play hero.
- Store properly – Dry place, no dust bunnies.
- Don’t share (duh) – Unless you’re into cooties.
Sounds basic? Yeah, but I learned all this the dumb way. Thought I’d save y’all the awkward pharmacy trips.
