The Moment I Realized I Had to Change
It hit me last Thursday when my kid asked why I always stared at my phone during dinner. I mumbled some excuse about work emails, but truthfully? My thumb was just scrolling cat memes. That night I lay awake thinking: Am I really showing love or just going through motions?
My Messy Experiment Week
Monday morning, I decided to test three stupid-simple tips from a podcast. First up: eye contact conversations. When my wife complained about her work drama, I forced myself to put the coffee mug down and actually lock eyes. Felt weird for 30 seconds, then magic happened – she suddenly teared up and said “You actually listened for once.” Damn.
Wednesday’s experiment backfired spectacularly. Tried the surprise appreciation notes thing. Scribbled “U make killer pancakes!” on a Post-it for my teen son. Found it later crumpled in the Xbox controller charging dock. Lesson? Know your audience – switched to texting him dumb memes about his favorite games instead.
What Actually Worked
- The 10-Second Hug Rule: Made myself hold hugs 10 extra seconds even when running late. My kid went from “Ew dad” to clinging like a koala by Friday
- Trash Can Jujitsu: Started emptying the bathroom bin without being asked. Wife noticed immediately and retaliated by folding my laundry properly for once
- Distraction Detox: Designated phone-free zones during meals. Our golden retriever approved – finally gets belly rubs during dinner time
The Real Kick in the Pants
Tried all these grand gestures expecting fireworks. What stuck? The stupid small stuff. Like when I remembered my daughter hates crusts on her PB&J. Cut them off one Tuesday morning and she stared at me like I grew a halo. Lasted maybe 15 seconds before demanding juice, but point is – showing love isn’t about big declarations. It’s about cutting goddamn sandwich crusts.
