It’s been a tough road, folks. My marriage, it felt like it was, well, losing its shine. We were just going through the motions, you know? Kids, work, bills – the whole nine yards. We were more like roommates than lovers. But I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel. I decided I had to do something, I had to try to rekindle that old flame.
Starting Small
First thing I did? I started with the small stuff. I read somewhere that sometimes you just gotta start with small gestures, so that’s exactly what I tried. I started by just, you know, hugging my wife more. Not just a quick peck on the cheek, but a real, genuine hug. Like we used to when we first started dating. It felt awkward at first, ngl, but then it started to feel…good. Like we were actually connecting again, even if it was just for a few seconds.
Time Apart, Time Together
Then, I stumbled upon this thing called the “70:30 rule”. Sounds kinda scientific, but the basic idea is you spend 70% of your time together and 30% apart, doing your own thing. It was a tough one at first. Spent so much time together over the years but then we realized it wasn’t quality time, I went back to playing basketball, something I hadn’t done in ages. My wife, she started taking these painting classes she’d always talked about. It was weird at first, spending time apart, but when we did come together, we had stuff to talk about. It felt like we were actually interested in each other’s lives again.
- Started with real, genuine hugs.
- Tried the 70:30 rule – 70% time together, 30% time apart.
- I went back to playing basketball.
- My wife took painting classes.
Making an Effort
But it wasn’t just about spending time apart. We had to actually, you know, put in some effort when we were together too. So we started this thing where we’d have a “date night” once a week. No kids, no phones, just us. We’d take turns planning it, and it didn’t have to be anything fancy. Sometimes we’d just go for a walk, other times we’d cook dinner together. But the important thing was, we were making time for each other, just like we used to in the beginning of our relationship.
Talking, Really Talking
And you know what the hardest part was? Talking. Not just about the kids or the bills, but really talking. About our feelings, our fears, our hopes for the future. It wasn’t easy, opening up like that. We had a few arguments, a few tears, but slowly, we started to understand each other again. Started to remember why we fell in love in the first place.
It’s a Work in Progress
So, is my marriage perfect now? Nah, not even close. But it’s better, a lot better. We still have our ups and downs, but we’re working on it, together. We’re communicating more, connecting more, and actually enjoying each other’s company again. It’s a work in progress, this whole rekindling thing, but I think we’re on the right track. We’re proving to ourselves that a spark can be rekindled, even after all these years.
