Man, this week hit me hard. Been married 12 years, right? Totally woke up Tuesday like… dang. Me and Sarah felt like boring roommates splitting bills. Coffee maker noise was the most exciting sound before work. Had this moment looking at her scrolling Instagram silently at breakfast, thinking, “Bro, I wanna fall in love with you again. For real.” Felt urgent.
Okay, action plan time. Started small. Wednesday morning, skipped my usual zombie coffee routine. Grabbed her mug โ that cracked green one she loves โ and poured her coffee first. Wrote “Your weird coffee smell still wins <3" on a sticky note. Stuck it on her laptop. Totally awkward! But later? Got a text: "Lol, you're gross. Thanks tho ๐". Baby step, but a step.
Thursday, decided no more talking AT each other about schedules or chores during dinner. Actually shut the TV off. Like, physically pressed the power button. Cooked spaghetti together, bumped hips in our tiny kitchen, burned the garlic bread on purpose cause she laughs at that. Used my real ears listening to her vent about her boss, not just nodding like a bobblehead. Felt… present.
The Friday Night Reset
Planned this properly. Called it Operation Don’t Be Lame Friday Night.
- Step 1: Dug out an old photo album. The cringy college days one with bad haircuts.
- Step 2: Lit dumb scented candles (vanilla, her pick, not mine).
- Step 3: Ordered pizza โ the cheap kind we ate when saving for our first couch.
- Step 4: Said it straight: “Remember that picnic where we got rained on? Or arguing about Star Trek vs Star Wars while building Ikea junk?” Asked, “If we could redo one date… which?”
And dude… it clicked. We spent like 2 hours laughing at those terrible pictures. Found that Polaroid from the dive bar concert where she spilled beer on my shoes. Talked about the INSANE traffic driving to that beach motel for our anniversary years back. Shared dreams again โ actual dreams, not just bills. Held hands on the couch, without Netflix playing. Just talked rubbish until almost midnight. Didn’t fix everything magic, but… felt the warmth again.
Biggest takeaway? It ain’t one grand gesture. It’s choosing coffee mugs over convenience. It’s letting the garlic bread burn. It’s hunting for photo proof you used to be cool together. Gotta show up, for real, not just exist near them. Still trying, every day. Love feels less like a finished painting, more like… a messy garden we’re both stubbornly watering. Dirty teacups included.
