Alright, so, “how to prepare to have sex for the first time,” huh? It’s kinda weird talking about this, but whatever, I’ll spill what I remember. Looking back, it was a whole mess of awkwardness and trying not to screw things up. Here’s the rundown:
First off, I spent way too much time overthinking it. Like, days. I remember pacing around my room, running through scenarios in my head. What if I messed up? What if I was bad at it? What if she laughed? The anxiety was real.
The Planning Stage (aka Operation: Don’t Be a Total Idiot):
- The Location: This was key. My parents were always home, so my place was a no-go. Ended up at her place, which was less than ideal because I felt like I was invading her space. But, hey, at least it was private.
- The Prep Work: Showered, obviously. Brushed my teeth like three times. Sprayed on way too much cologne. I was basically a walking Axe commercial.
- The “Conversation”: We talked a little beforehand, but it was all stilted and weird. Mostly just nervous giggling and avoiding eye contact. I think we both knew what was about to happen, but neither of us wanted to be the one to say it out loud.
The Big Moment (aka Mission: Possible… Maybe):
Okay, so things started getting heated. Clothes came off. Lots of fumbling around. I was so nervous I could barely function. I remember thinking, “Okay, don’t panic, just breathe.” It didn’t really work.
It was awkward. Really awkward. I’m not gonna lie. I had no idea what I was doing. I was trying to remember all the stuff I’d read online, but it was all a blur. I was basically just winging it and hoping for the best.
I won’t go into all the gory details, but let’s just say it wasn’t exactly a scene from a movie. It was messy, clumsy, and over way faster than I expected.
The Aftermath (aka Damage Control):
We laid there in silence for a few minutes. I was trying to figure out what to say. Did I do okay? Did she have fun? Was this going to be the end of the world?
Finally, I just blurted out, “So… how was that?” Smooth, I know.
She laughed, which I took as a good sign. She said it was “nice,” which I wasn’t sure how to interpret. But, hey, at least she wasn’t running for the hills.
The Lessons Learned (aka What I’d Do Differently):
- Relax: Seriously, chill out. Overthinking it just makes things worse.
- Communicate: Talk to your partner. Figure out what they like. It’s not a mind-reading game.
- Don’t Expect Perfection: It’s probably not going to be amazing the first time. That’s okay. Just have fun and learn from it.
Final Thoughts
So, yeah, that was my first time. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t a disaster either. It was just a learning experience. And honestly, the best advice I can give anyone is to just go for it. Don’t be afraid to be awkward. Don’t be afraid to mess up. Just be yourself and have fun.
And for god’s sake, don’t wear too much cologne.
