Alright, buckle up, ’cause I’m gonna walk you through my little experiment with “relationship expectations.” It’s gonna get real, real quick.
It all started when I was scrolling through some forum, and I saw this thread about how messed up everyone’s relationships were because of unspoken expectations. Ding ding ding! Alarm bells went off in my head. I thought, “Damn, I gotta get ahead of this before I end up in the same boat.”
So, first thing I did was sit down and brainstorm. I literally grabbed a notebook and a pen (old school, I know) and started writing down every single thing I expected from a relationship. No filter. Everything from “they gotta text me back within an hour” (yeah, I know, dramatic) to “they gotta be cool with my friends.” I made a massive list.
Next up, I categorized that beast. I broke it down into MUST-HAVEs, NICE-TO-HAVEs, and DEAL-BREAKERS. This was crucial. The MUST-HAVEs were the non-negotiables: respect, honesty, communication. The NICE-TO-HAVEs were things like similar taste in music or wanting to travel. And the DEAL-BREAKERS? Oh boy, those were the big red flags like constant jealousy or being disrespectful to my family.
Here’s where it got tricky. I had to actually TALK to my partner about this. I was nervous as hell. I mean, who wants to lay all their cards on the table like that? But I knew it was the only way to avoid future drama. So, I picked a chill time, made some tea, and said, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about our relationship, and I wanted to talk about expectations.”
I didn’t just dump the whole list on them at once. I started with the MUST-HAVEs and explained why they were so important to me. Then, I asked them what THEIR MUST-HAVEs were. We listened to each other, we compromised on a few things, and we actually came to an agreement. It was surprisingly… healthy.
The NICE-TO-HAVEs were easier. We laughed about some of them (“So, you really want someone who likes hiking?”), and we agreed that those were just bonuses, not requirements.
The DEAL-BREAKERS were the toughest to discuss. But we got through it. We talked about past experiences, what hurt us, and what we absolutely couldn’t tolerate. It was intense, but it brought us closer.
So, what was the result of all this? Well, it wasn’t perfect, obviously. But it definitely made a difference. We had fewer misunderstandings, we communicated better, and we felt more secure in the relationship. It wasn’t a magic bullet, but it was a damn good starting point.
Here’s a quick recap of what I learned:
- Write everything down. Get it all out of your head and onto paper (or a screen).
- Categorize your expectations. Know what’s essential and what’s just a nice perk.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate! Talk to your partner. Listen to them. Compromise.
- Be prepared to adjust. Expectations aren’t set in stone. They evolve as you grow.
Look, I’m no relationship guru. I’m just a regular person trying to navigate the messy world of love and connection. But this “relationship expectations” experiment? It was a game-changer. And I highly recommend you give it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?
