My Starting Point
Honestly I thought my junk was fine for years until Sarah dumped me last winter. She went back to her ex who’s apparently packing serious heat. That messed with my head bad. Started googling like crazy at 3AM – pills, pumps, surgery, all that shady stuff online. Couldn’t sleep thinking about it.
The Stupid Shit I Tried First
Bought these sketchy pills from some Instagram ad. Took ’em for two weeks straight. Only thing that got bigger was my acne. Then dropped $200 on this vacuum pump thingy from a sex shop. Looked like a bicycle pump for your dick. Pumped so hard my balls turned purple. Hurt like hell – gave up after three days when I couldn’t pee right.
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Other dumb experiments:
- Tried jelqing videos – felt like stretching old chewing gum
- Tested clamping methods with hair ties – left dents for hours
- Slathered on some “miracle cream” that made my balls itch nonstop
The Actual Useful Stuff
Finally talked to my gym buddy Dave who’s studying to be a urologist. He laughed his ass off then gave me real advice:
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Real methods according to Dave:
- Stretching routines – not pulling hard but consistent gentle pressure
- Pumping smart – hospital-grade device with pressure gauge
- Blood flow boosters – not pills, actual cock ring workouts
Started doing 10 minute stretches every morning while brewing coffee. Used a decent pump for short sessions while watching Netflix. Took before/after dick pics monthly – embarrassing but necessary.
Where I’m At Now
After five damn months? Gained maybe half an inch lengthwise. Thickness? Nah not really. But hard-ons feel steel-rod solid now. Stopped obsessing over measurements honestly – confidence came from actually committing to something. Still think those “6 inch overnight!” ads are total bullshit though. Bodies don’t work like that.
