Okay, here’s my personal take on discreetly stashing a sex toy, written in a casual, blog-style format:
Alright, so let’s talk about hiding the goods. I mean, we all have our private things, right? And sometimes you just don’t want your mom, your roommate, or your overly curious cat finding your, uh, personal massager.
First, I scoped out the territory. My place. Bedroom first, obviously. I ruled out the obvious spots right away – under the bed, in the nightstand. Too cliché, too easy to find.
Brainstorm Time
- Behind books on a bookshelf? Maybe, but kinda risky if someone’s actually looking for a book.
- Inside a shoebox? Too predictable.
- At the very back of a dresser drawer? Possibly, but still felt a bit…exposed.
Then it hit me. I have this old hollowed-out book. A really boring one about the history of tax law. It’s been sitting on my shelf forever and nobody. I mean NOBODY ever touched it. I’ve used before to hide emergency cash.
So I grabbed the book. I gently placed my toy inside(it’s one of those smaller, more discreet ones, thankfully, otherwise I need a bigger book!). I make sure it didn’t bulge or anything. Then I slotted the book back onto the shelf, nestled between “Advanced Accounting” and “The Collected Works of Some Obscure Poet.” Perfect camouflage.
Another idea that I find useful is the back of my closet. I put some old storage boxes in it, you know, the plastic kind with lids. I labeled them with super boring stuff like “Winter Clothes” and “Old Tax Returns.” But inside one of them, way at the bottom, under a pile of old sweaters. It works!
I’ve also, in a pinch, used the inside of a zipped-up pillowcase. The key is to make sure it’s not a pillow you actually use every night, and that the zipper is facing away from view.
The main thing is, you gotta be creative. Think like a spy, but for fun stuff. Think about places nobody ever looks, things nobody ever touches. And for goodness sake, don’t make it obvious!
