So, things weren’t exactly rosy in my marriage. We’d been together for years, and somewhere along the way, the spark had kinda fizzled out. It wasn’t like we were fighting all the time, but it just felt like we were roommates, going through the motions. I knew something had to change, or we were gonna end up in a bad place.
I started small, like really small. I started hugging my partner more. Not just a quick peck on the cheek, but real, proper hugs. Like, wrapping my arms around them and holding them close for a few seconds. It sounds simple, but it made a difference. It was like we were reconnecting on a physical level, even without any, you know, sexy time.
Then, I made it a point to actually spend time together, just the two of us. We started having date nights once a week. It didn’t have to be anything fancy, sometimes it was just ordering takeout and watching a movie at home. But the important thing was that we were making an effort to be together, without the kids or work or any other distractions. I also read about this “777” thing – date night every week, night away together every seven weeks, and a whole vacation every seven months. We haven’t done the whole seven weeks/seven months part, but at least we got the weekly thing down.
We also tried having more open conversations about our relationship. Not like, big, heavy talks, but just checking in with each other more often. We talked about what we were happy with, what we weren’t so happy with, and what we wanted to work on. We tried to write a “Marriage Mission Statement” like those companies do. It felt a bit awkward and forced, honestly. I don’t think we got the hang of it. But the whole communication part, that helped.
- Hugging more often
- Dedicated date nights weekly
- Open conversations
- Trying new activities to find common interests
I also started doing little things to show my partner that I appreciated them. Like, making their coffee in the morning the way they like it, or picking up their favorite snack at the store. And I made an effort to be more affectionate, like holding hands when we were out, or giving them a back rub after a long day. I also heard a doctor say that “everything positive you do in your relationship is foreplay”, which, well, it can be.
We even tried some new things together, just to shake things up a bit. Like, we took a dance class together, which was kinda fun, even though we were both terrible at it. We also started going for walks in the park together, just to get out of the house and get some fresh air. It felt nice to explore new things together and find more common interests.
It wasn’t a quick fix, and it definitely wasn’t easy. There were still some tough times, and we had to put in a lot of work. But slowly but surely, things started to get better. We started feeling more connected, more like a team. It felt like we were actually falling in love again.
So, if your marriage is feeling a little off track, don’t give up hope. There are things you can do to get it back on track. It takes effort, and it takes time, but it’s definitely worth it. You just gotta be willing to put in the work and try.
