So last month my girlfriend and I were fighting nonstop about stupid stuff – leaving dishes in the sink, forgetting date nights, that kinda junk. Felt like we were roommates instead of partners. That’s when I stumbled upon this six-stage relationship thing online and decided to try it step by step.
Stage 1: Just Surviving
First thing I did? Stopped trying to “fix” every argument immediately. When she’d complain about me working late, instead of explaining why my boss needed the report, I’d just say “You’re right, it sucks” while actually listening. Didn’t solve anything but made the shouting matches shorter.
Stage 2: Taking Responsibility
Started writing down what part I played in our mess. Made an actual list on my phone:
- Said I’d plan our anniversary then completely blanked
- Kept “forgetting” to text when running late
- Rolled my eyes when she talked about her pottery class
Kinda brutal seeing it all typed out like that.
Stage 3: Owning My Crap
Apologized SPECIFICALLY for that eye-rolling thing last Tuesday. Not some vague “sorry I’m an ass” nonsense. Told her exactly why it was disrespectful. She looked shocked – guess she’d noticed it way more than I realized.
Stage 4: Actually Hearing Her
Next fight about chores, I bit my tongue till she finished talking. Asked “What part stresses you most?” Turns out it wasn’t the dirty plates – she felt like house manager keeping track of everything. Never would’ve guessed that.
Stage 5: Doing The Work
Set phone reminders for real simple stuff:
- “Text when leaving office” alarm at 5:30pm
- Calendar alert for “plan date night TODAY”
- Sunday 10am reminder to ask about her pottery
Felt robotic at first but became habit.
Stage 6: Maintenance Mode
Now we do weekly 10-minute “check-ins” – just quick chats about what’s working and what still bugs us. Last week she mentioned my laundry pile creeping back. Fixed it next morning. No drama, just adjustments.
Honestly? We’re still figuring it out. But instead of screaming matches, it’s more like “hey remember that stage 3 thing?” kinda talks. Still hate doing dishes though.
